Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Wholesome Family Entertainment


Above is a tattered Sept. 24, 1971 LIFE magazine clipping brought unto me by an interested listener – thanks, interested listener! It's just as I remember it. Frank certainly looks svelte – and just think about the tunes that were stewing in his brain at the time. Not sure what the lead time was on his compositions, but it's possible that Grand Wazoo and even Apostrophe and Overnite Sensation material was being born.

All of which has nothing to do with the budget of the film, although it helps. No wait. What I meant, was, in honor of Frank's family values, let's play happy, wholesome, family-oriented FZ tunes on the Sept.21, 2007 Zappa's Grubby Chamber – yes, there are such things. To qualify, songs have to at least acknowledge the existence of relatives, or specific familial persons, places or things, naturally excluding tropical possessions.

"Motherly Love," "Uncle Bernie's Farm," "Mom & Dad" "Bow Tie Daddy" "The Idiot Bastard Son," "Lonely Little Girl," "Little House I Used to Live In," "My Guitar Wants to Kill Your Mama," "Little House I Used to Live In," "Daddy Daddy Daddy," "Son of Orange County," "San Ber'dino," Yo' Mama," "Joe's Garage," Teen-Age Wind," "Harder Than Your Husband," "Truck Driver Divorce," "Baby, Take Your Teeth Out," "Porn Wars" and possibly others. Call or write with suggestions Friday night.

I included Porn Wars because that's the song in which Sen. Paula Hawkins (R-Fla.) tried to snidely impugn Frank's parenthood – or maybe she was just reflecting the mass misperception of Frank as some sort of demented Ronald McDonald of the Nouveaux Abstruse who couldn't responsibly spawn and raise genetic artifacts:

Sen. Hawkins: I might be interested to see what toys your kids ever had

FZ: Why would you be interested?

Sen. Hawkins: Just as a point of interest in this ah...

Well, come on over to the house and I'll show them to you.
Really!

Sen. Hawkins: I, I might do that!

To the best of my knowledge, Paula never swang by to check out Frank's kids' toys. If only she woulda...

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