Crush All Boxes

Zappatude – September 11, 2009

2009-09-10T20:44:00.000-07:00

This has nothing to do with the week's theme. I just like looking at it.

What I've noticed over my Frank Zappa-liking career is that the same things you and I adore about him are what normal people don't – that is, if they know anything about him at all other than his kids' funny names.

The sheer imagination and freedom of expression in Zappa music must overwhelm musical tastes calibrated to narrower bandwidth. The blistering, dissonant guitar, rhythmic complexity, weird textures, wacky topics and all that naughty, naughty talk.

At the core of Frank's formidable armamentarium of sounds and ideas is his attitude. That's what animates everything, from his most intoxicating guitar solo to his most caustic appraisal of human nature, it's the Zappatude that makes it all possible. It's what really closes the deal between Frank and his devotees.

It's doubtful though, that as close as we may feel to what he's saying during various moments of his music, any of us has really taken in the whole of Frank's vision. But when we get it, we really get it.

So that's what it'll be Friday night when I sit in for Scatch: songs laden with Frank Zappaness. Engorged, even.

I always feel compelled to start the show with something that Chas's blues audience can vibe with, so a good, attitudey song for that purpose will be "Nig Biz." Then something else, and something else... and whatever you request.

We'll foment Frankitude for the Sept. 11, 2009 Zen Through Zappa's Grubby Chamber.

To Pretend That You Are Stoopid – June 12, 2009

2009-06-04T19:03:00.000-07:00

A random relic from a foamcore promotional

display for Tinseltown Rebellion.

Dummmmmmmbbb!

Frank, unlike those of his contemporaries who were also ultra-competent at their craft, never shied away from sheer, relatively unbridled stupidity. He embraced his inner dunce, parodied stupidity, celebrated and condemned it and – thankfully for us – leveraged it for massive musical reward.

I can't see Weather Report or Return To Forever ever lowering themselves to play "A Little Green Rosetta" or "No Not Now." Why would they, when they can be noodling at 392 miles per hour in 17/9? Only... Frank could do that too, and did, but he also obtained acute enjoyment factors from doing stupid music (I mean that in the best sense of the term).

Of course Frank never did anything genuinely stupid. He couldn't help himself. There's cleverness bombs riddled throughout his most retardated repertoire. Have you ever seen a simulated child's drawing in a TV commercial? Sorry, you can always tell an adult made it. The one element of his music Frank couldn't seem to control was resisting the temptation to imbue even the most dopey ditty with brainy fun.

Hats off, by the way, to Pat Metheny, who doesn't suffer from the "elite muso syndrome" that afflicts so many of his fellow hyper-advanced jazzmen. (Tsk tsk; it's such a tragedy to lose someone to Seriousness.) If you haven't heard "Forward March" off First Circle, all I can say is, it's really stupid and also Zappa-worthy, and that's the highest compliment of all in the musical kingdom. I'll play "Forward March" on the June 12 show.

And our world famous/infuriating Friends of Frank segment will also feature the dumb/dumber doings of the likes of Mike Keneally, Steve Vai, Russ Stedman and... wait for it... Frank Fucking Sinatra.

I swear to god, if there's any artist that annoys – no, offends me the most it's Old Blue Mouth. I'd gladly listen to Bobby Goldsboro's oeuvre over and over with low-voltage shocks being applied to my gen-pack for all eternity than listen to Artanis and his asinine croonings. I depise Sinatra and his "wine" voice more than anyone in show biz. Except maybe John Wayne and David Broder. But the Chairman of the Board fucked up big time on a b-side, and you're going to hear it. If you know the backstory, feel free to share once you hear this masterpiece. Again, that'll be during Friends of Frank in the second hour.

So that's the deal: Stupidity Supreme on the June 12 Zen Through Zappa's Grubby Chamber.

Addie & Her Band – June 2, 2009

2009-06-02T18:03:00.000-07:00

There are some scintillating discussions going on, as always, over at the ever-entertaining Kill Ugly Radio. It's the best dang Frank blog in the Zappasphere, at least in my booklet. It's my home base for Zappa buzz.

I've been participating in one particular thread, "Conversations with Jimmy Carl Black", and some of my acrid expectorations might benefit from visual aids. Below are two.

The top item is a handbill/flyer/poster for the Grandmothers show in Hayward, Calif. on Halloween, 1980. The one below that is a scan of the '80 Tour Book, which includes what are apparently the original – and much more explicit – lyrics to "We're Turning Again." Click to enlarge.

If you read through that comment thread, you'll see why these items are relevant.

What I want to know is, how do I contact Addie & her Band?

Spaces – May 29, 2009

2009-05-24T20:15:00.000-07:00

How many times have I heard some muso supremo espouse the notion that, in so many words, "music is about spaces – not the notes, but the spaces between them."

Really? To me, it's about notes. Lots and lots of big fat delicious loud notes. But then I like car chase moves and robot-battle TV shows too (didn't Ahmet host one of those?).

Obviously, as with visual art, music involves use of positive and negative space. And there is plenty of both in Zappa music. So, in my never-ending quest to run Frank music through ever more abstruse conceptual continuity filters, on this week's Zen Through Zappa's Grubby Chamber, we'll enjoy cuts that include one or both of two functions:

• Somewhere within the song, there are no notes being played. There might be hangover decay from the last notes, but technically, there is complete cessation of activity, or

• There's a whole lotta air going on.

Well, there you have it. Spaces, gaps and air, plus your requests on this week's Zen Through Zappa's Grubby Chamber.

How Frank Zappa helped transcend class differences, avert mob justice and apprehend the drunken dipshit who whizzed in our elevator – March 7, 2009

2009-03-07T17:23:00.000-08:00

Why did it hurt when this guy peed?

Some of you may know that the tango, which is not a very popular dance anymore, was at one time reputed to be a dance of unbridled passion. You may also know that I write the Police Log for the Arcata Eye newspaper.

The coplog has gained some well-earned disrepute for its rhetorical excesses, which sometimes work and sometimes don't. Any creative writer (or musician or painter for that matter) can attest that there are times when the muse is present and others when you have to fall back on mere technique.

Maybe it's the water, mama, maybe it's the tea. Or maybe it's the fact that there was incidental Zappa content to an item I was writing up this morning that made me go off on a big old tangent. Actually it was probably just that I experienced the incident – a relatively minor one of some boozed-out schlub pissing in the elevator at the building I work in. I'd like to point out that despite this infraction, he's probably a very nice young man on some level, his mom probably loves him and that one day, he'll make a fine loyal plastic robot for a world that doesn't care.

So I had a grand time writing this thing this morning (with coffee as my sole trendy chemical amusement aid). That doesn't necessarily mean that it will be any fun to read, in fact getting through the grating grandiloquence and annoying alliteration will probably be work for most people. But like Frank always said, if two or three people get it, it's worth everyone else not.

• Tuesday, February 17 2:55 p.m. When the elevator doors opened on the fourth floor of an historic Plaza storehouse, a baked, boozed or both young man clad in today’s exciting falling-down-pants fashion was, unfortunately, observed peeing in the corner as he slumped against the wall of the lift.

As he struggled with the daunting logistics of zipping up, the potted pisser undertook a half-hearted psyops effort intended to distance himself from culpability for the still-spreading pool of urine rapidly overtaking the elevator’s floor. “That’s gross... mmgmshnhff, man... like, mmffgmmn,” he slurred with unconvincing moral outrage in fluent dipshitese, as though the shimmering sewage had been unleashed by some other drunken schlub and he just happened to be standing in it with his Johnson deployed.

As the door opened on the second floor (the lobby of which was full of little kids running around and eating ice cream during their President’s Week school break), a crisply attired and well-groomed young woman began to enter, but was warded away from the tepid tidepool by the well-meaning witness, lest she befoul her footwear in the piquant pee-puddle.

Meanwhile, the confused culprit mounted a low-velocity getaway effort which was hampered somewhat by distracting technical difficulties with his zipper and with maintaining fashionably sub-nominal trouser elevation. Staggering down the hall and then stumbling down the stairs as the witness described him to the police via cell phone, the saggy-clad lad first offered to bash the witness’s fucking head in, then proceeded eastbound through an alley and then on a northbound course through the Plaza.

With police on the way, the enervated elevator effluator struggled mightily to shed outer layers of clothing so as to confound the description phoned in to police, though the newly exposed underlayers were just as easily described real-time to the APD dispatcher, who relayed the info to the officer en route.

Approaching a gaggle of goodtime gadabouts at the Plaza’s center, the low-effort liquifier motioned back to the persistent pursuer, painting him as an oppressor or stalker of some sort (“That mo-fo’s following me!”), perhaps hoping to rouse the rabble to a street-justicey intervention that would cut off the chase.

However, what the wee-wee wanderer wasn’t aware of was that, as fate would have it, the crimefighting cop-caller and the putative Plazoid posse had already set aside both class and lifestyle differences and male-bonded in deep and lasting fashion in days past over matters of profound common musical interest.

In spotting the vigilant witness that fleeing pee-boy had pointed out, the agglomerated idlers recognized him and began bellowing with animated glee and bursting into song, even.

“ZAPPPPAAAA!” they howled, invoking selected titles of the musical titan’s masterworks in spontaneous joy. “Dinah-Moe Humm! Suzy Creamcheese!” the Zappaphile ’Zoids howled, dancing in circles, riffing on air guitars and high-fiving the self-appointed central scrutinizer’s free right hand as he passed by, while he continued tracking the fleeing pissant’s journey via cell phone with the other. (Had the drippy dimbulb ever attained sufficient musical erudition to appreciate the broad-ranging and eclectic repertoire of Frank Zappa, he might have joined in the lyrical merriment with an ironic excerpt from “Why Does It Hurt When I Pee?” off Joe’s Garage, but alas, it was not to be.)

As the urinary incompetent meandered toward Tavern Row, police cars closed in, eventually encircling him at Ninth and H streets. On asking the witness and suspect what had happened, an officer’s investigation was interrupted by a cameo player in the drainage drama: an emaciated, prematurely wizened-looking traveler who had tagged along from the Plaza’s center. Volunteering to “mediate” the situation with his abundant spare time, the diminutive diplomat was sternly commanded to mind his own business by the officer. At this, the uninvited sprite dutifully reversed direction to rejoin his colleagues, still cavorting ’neath the stolid flanks of a battered Plaza statue.

Meanwhile, bladder boy continued to claim that he was the wronged party, sitting on the curb and sputtering out a spittle-flecked legal analysis to the effect that the witness’s reporting of his hoist-moistening misdeed was “illegal” and by extension, presumably inadmissible. Police weren’t swayed by the pro-bonehead legal advice from the curbside witness stand, and the vitiated varlet was soon in shackles, being chauffeured to a steel-and-concrete facility featuring more-than-ample modern conveniences to accommodate any further waste disposal imperatives, assuming the percolating poltroon can master the elusive intricacies of mechanical operation of the flush handle, which may be a leap of faith. There, he was booked on a public drunkenness charge.

The witness then returned to the storehouse with the intention of eradicating the fetid pool from the elevator, but a business there inexplicably refused to loan him their mop and bucket. This reversal was all the excuse the sewage Samaritan needed to give up on that distasteful chore and go about the non-urine related business which had been interrupted 10 minutes previous and four floors up, relevant passages from certain special songs still swirling through the canyons of his mind. Knirps for moisture.

Yes, this actually will appear in a community newspaper Wednesday, March 11, 2009.

The Green Hotel – February 13, 2008

2009-02-03T18:36:00.000-08:00

This ticket has no particular significance other than being kind of cool.
Almost the whole band signed it. This was the show me and Eric
got to see the soundcheck for.

Where'd they go, those good old days and all that crap we used to sell?

Hard times are here again, though as of this writing one may still purchase utterly useless manufactured goods, such as perfumed glossy fashion magazines featuring undernourished, dour models wearing the ugliest clothes imaginable. We'll probably be on the same caloric intake level as the beautifully sad specimens on those pages before the year is out, unless we eat the magazine.

Scatch asked me to do the Feb. 13 Zen Through Zappa, and since it means a lengthy late-night drive on Friday the 13th, I had no choice but to agree. What could go wrong?

All in all, the theme that suggests itself right about now is not bunnies in clover, no. But rather, hard luck – immediate and long-term, near and far. Like, say, the type which has enveloped civilization. In case you hadn't noticed, things are really rough these days. No, really really rough. But we still have Frank.

So what we'll do Friday the 13th is hit the streets, the mean streets of post-Bush America for some nitty-gritty. We'll swig some hooch with wino men on the Arcata Plaza (really, we will), hear episode No. 1 of the Grubby Chamber proto-podcast and toast our troubled times with relevant repertoire from you-know-who.

"Hot Plate Heaven At The Green Hotel," "Trouble Every Day," "200 Years Old," "Teenage Prostitute," "Suicide Chump," "The Meek Shall Inherit Nothing," "Stick Together," "Flakes," "Yo Mama," Why Does It Hurt When I Pee?" "Wind Up Workin' In A Gas Station," "Wonderful Wino," "Dummy Up," "Can't Afford No Shoes," "San Ber'dino," "Stuff Up The Cracks" and "Hungry Freaks, Daddy" all seeme relevant in some way, and could get played. Along with whatever you have in mind.

KHUM becomes Hot Plate Heaven as we celebrate the Depression on Zen Through Zappa's Grubby Chamber Friday, Feb. 13.

Review: Zappa Plays Zappa, War Memorial Opera House, San Francisco, Dec. 31, 2008

2009-01-02T17:45:00.000-08:00

Here's my review of the Zappa Plays Zappa show at San Francisco's War Memorial Opera House, on Dec. 31, 2008. But first, some art by Ward Shelley – a piece titled "Frank Zappa Chart ver. 1."

Dweezil and his fine ensemble offered an enjoyable evening of the Frank Zappa tunes we all love at San Francisco’s War Memorial Opera House on New Year’s Eve 2008/9.

To hear this immortal music performed live, on such a grand scale by musicians of this caliber, is heartening. It may be decades before society catches up to Zappa’s genius. For now, it is kept alive by the beleaguered Zappa community – the listeners, musicians, bloggers and even a disc jockey or two – and, of course, by the dedicated work of his son.

Having been to two ZPZ concerts now, though, I’ve figured something basic out: even though the song list might be similar, you don’t go to ZPZ shows for the same reasons you used to go to to Frank Zappa shows.

The show

The show began with Dweezil saying that the band’s flight had been delayed and that they hadn’t had time for a thorough sound check, so “crazy things” might happen, even apart from the planned crazy things. And then they began.

Frank, and other bands with ambitious, that is to say acrobatic repertoire, like maybe Jethro Tull, often start their shows with something less demanding, to sort of limber up. Not Dweez and the gang. First up was “Inca Roads.” Thankfully, Dweezil did his own guitar solo, not replicating Frank’s, which is already well burned into all our minds.

Next was “Cosmick Debris,” with drummer Joe Travers on lead vocals. For the guitar solo, Dweezil actually unstrapped his SG and handed it to Ray White (rather ceremoniously, I thought, and after the spot for the solo had already begun). Ray did good, then handed the SG back to Dweezil for an outing. At one point he traded licks with Scheila Gonzales, and that was enjoyable.

Next, “Magic Fingers,” played at a slightly more sedate pace than Frank used to do it. In fact, most of the songs were at a more stately tempo than I remember Frank doing them. Then, “Carolina Hard Core Ecstacy,” during which, I thought, Mr. Travers began to play with more verve and gusto.

Then Dweezil invited the audience to sing along on the next song, but said that could be a challenge since it contained “4,000 words of text.” You guessed it: “Billy the Mountain.” I just did a word count on the transcription available here, and it’s actually 2,376 words. But close enough.

As a bonus, Billy was sung, mostly, by Billy Hulting, percussionist. That’s logical, since most of the vaudeville bits don’t require his sounds. Various bandmembers took turns doing Studebaker Hawk, to vast hilarity.

Overanalytical journalistic wankage begins here

Yes, it was all enjoyable, fun and entertaining, make no mistake. But, and not to get too “journalistic” about it, but Dweezil’s approach to “Billy” is where the essential riddle/conundrum/philosophical glitch with ZPZ comes into play. The performance was – with some refreshing exceptions – a carbon copy replication of the Flo & Eddie-based performance on Just Another Band From L.A. Even down to the little asides that Mark Volman and Howard Kaylan tossed off on the spur of the moment in Pauley Pavilion 36 years ago.

OK, well, that’s one way to go... except that, mercifully, there were some contemporizing adaptations. “Chief Reddin” became “Corey Feldman,” and instead of “Zubin Mehta,” it was “Gary Coleman.” Also, the band did something really great with extending the big “Studebaker Hawk” theme song. It was unexpected and really delightful that they mined those passages for more fun and frolic.

I simply don’t understand the concept of religiously replicating the way Frank performed a song on one particular album or tour decades ago. Even less do I understand taking that approach with the most ephemeral nuances of live performance in the original recording, but then, in the same song, massively revising a whole passage like the Studebaker Hawk song.

The main reason the cloning-of-old-arrangements-and-performances approach jars me is that it isn’t something Frank ever did, and I just don’t associate that kind of slavish adherence to the established as being part of the Zappa ethos.

Think about it –did you ever hear Frank do a song the same way twice? Even from night to night on the same tour, he mixed up the arrangements, tempos and certainly the order in which songs were performed.

To be fair, Dweezil did subvert the dominant paradigm to some mild degree. He “played the band” with hand signals at times, so that was a plus. But never did it produce the results Frank’s mischievous meddling did, which is understandable, since there was only one him.

When, after the previous ZPZ show I attended, I encouraged Dweezil to add a couple of his songs to the show (and he has some damn great ones), he dismissed it out of hand. For what it’s worth, I previously opined about this here.

It seems to me that Dweezil is too humble about his own compositional skills and perhaps too reverent of Dad’s stuff. I will presume to give him this advice, because I don’t believe that Frank thought his work was something that had to be entombed in one state for ever and ever: “Don’t you act like it’s made of gold.” In other words, bend it, play with it, tweak it. Hell, you’re a Zappa – no one will do reinterpret Frankness better than you. Oh, and don’t sell your own compositions short. They’re lovely, and Frankworthy.

Journalistic wankage ends there

Next was “Flakes,” with Dweezil by now playing a white Stratocaster. I didn’t particularly care for Scheila’s version of the faux-Dylan part, only because it was in such an exaggerated caricature of a voice that I couldn’t understand what she was saying. Plus she was too close to the mic and it overdrove and sounded harsh and gravelly.

This was followed by “Broken Hearts Are For Assholes,” always a crowd pleaser. Then "Bamboozled By Love," done partly in double-time, an interesting choice. Then “King Kong,” which was loaded with band showcase solos. At one point, Les Claypool came out in a longcoat and chimp mask and played what looked like a segment of a bed frame with a string attached to it. He beat upon this device [since identified as a "Whamola" – h/t Clenn] with a drumstick while modulating the tension on the string and sort of dancing around as the band provided a soundtrack. It was during KK that Dweez conducted the band a la Frank.

For me, the standout solo was that of guitarist Jamie Kime. As at the previous ZPZ show I attended, he offered some truly original and intense sounds on his guitar. It was deeply impressive – this guy is a major talent.

Last song was “Willie The Pimp,” and it was red hot. The encore was “Muffin Man,” always the feel-good hit of the winter, or summer, or whatever season it’s played in.

And then, about 10:30 p.m., it was done. The road crew then hurriedly dismantled the ZPZ stage setup to make room for Les Claypool, and I was disappointed that Dweezil et al didn’t hang out to talk to the fans like last time. But there was so much feverish activity going on on the stage that they probably would have been in the way.

We didn’t stay for Les, because I had to drive 300-plus miles back to Arcata early the next morn in shitty weather.

A few observations

If you haven’t been to a “big rock show” lately, note that they have changed in one respect. Audience members now fuss with their cell phones throughout the concert, taking pictures of each other and the band, texting, checking their e-mail and even surfing the Web. Sometimes you look down at the stage (from Row R in our case) and the foreground is filled with literally dozens of little glowing screens.

And then there are the self-absorbed dickheads. Thankfully, no one right behind me was bellowing “WWWUUUHHHHH!” or talking throughout the solos this time, as has happened at lots of other shows.

Also, while the show was well attended, there were plenty of empty seats around us, including just about the whole row in front of me. That was a stroke of luck; others weren’t so fortunate. Several rows down, there were people wearing fucking top hats, which I’m sure were very fashionable and impressive to each other, but if you had to sit behind them, not so much. And yet they didn’t even take them off, apparently oblivious to the viewshed impacts the comical headgear was having on the people seated behind them.

There was also a large man in about Row L who was frequently moved to stand up and dance in place during a number of tunes. You could see the people behind him leaning this way and that to see what was going on on stage. It never fails to amaze me how self-centered and inconsiderate some people can be, even of fellow Zappa fans. Personally, there’s no way I could not be conscious of hindering someone else’s enjoyment if I was blocking their view or making noise. Captain Considerate, that’s me. Actually not, but it’s not in me to be a lout at a concert.

I didn't buy any of the ZPZ swag because it looked tacky. They didn't have any tour books or hats, and $30 for a T-shirt would be an inexcusable extravagance, even if it does say "Zappa" in ugly typography.

Also, I wish there was a way to have Ahmet be involved in all this. He's fun.

The takeaway

As I said, you wouldn’t go to a ZPZ show for the same reasons you went to Frank Zappa shows. I went to Frank concerts to be dazzled, surprised, shocked and to laugh my ass off. Zappa concerts always included moments when you turned to your friend who you came with and just looked at each other in slack-jawed wonder at the sheer originality of the music and the thought process behind it.

What I experienced on New Year’s Eve was an elegantly performed, loving tribute to some of the most clever and engaging music that I’m aware of. But hearing it performed in ways we’re already well familiar with means that many of those key shock-and-awe elements of Zappa concert enjoyment just aren’t there.

The other thing that was missing (except for Jamie Kime’s bit) was the intensity of a Frank show. Dweezil’s band was hot, but they didn’t burn. And there’s another thing separate and apart from that, something which Frank’s bands had an abundance of: spark. The ability to turn on a dime, with every note distinct. By comparison, the ZPZ band kind of lumbers through their paces.

Know what I mean? Even the amazing Joe Travers didn’t put everything into it that I know he has. He played with considerably more devotion to the cause at the tiny Six Rivers Brewery in McKinleyville with Mike Keneally in May, 2005 – for two dozen people. Joe was white-hot that night, but just workaday awesome for the thousands at the ZPZ show. Sorry, I’m spoiled.

The whole ZPZ thing is just a different approach to Frank music, and one which I suppose is fully valid unto itself. But would I drive 300 miles each way to experience this again? Unless Mr. Vai, Mr. Bozzio or – and this will never happen – Mr. Keneally were to be involved, probably not.

Minister of Culture – December 26, 2008

2008-12-15T20:06:00.000-08:00

Frank Zappa and Vaclav Havel

It isn't exactly news that Europe is more culturally advanced than the U.S., but only by a few thousand years or so. Sure, America came up up with Frank Zappa, but during his life, Frank's genius was always better recognized "over there" than here. First, them Europes don't worry so much about certain artistic elements that tend to get us Mercans all jibbered up, like naughty words and nudity.

Apart from his musical sophistication, Frank's iconoclasm was well appreciated in Eastern Europe, which had an ill-fitting communist overlay in the decades after WWII. In Czechoslovakia, Frank and his music became a symbol of independence. In the liberation period, they ecen wanted to make him Minister of Culture. Some details are here, plus there's a dated but fairly good write-up here.

Back when I was doing Zappa's Grubby Chamber regularly, I ran into KHSU's Dan Wargo, who had firsthand knowledge of this. He offered to tell me and the listeners about it, but my hostiness of the show ended before I was able to talk to him. But since I'm sitting in, I rang him up and recorded a short interview, which I'll run during the Dec. 26 show.

Also, I'm headed down to the Bay Area next week for the Zappa Plays Zappa show at the War Memorial Opera House. If anyone attended the recent ZPZ Roxy shows or has any other inkling of what to expect on New Year's Eve, do feel free to call in.

Arf...

Bryan Beller's Coughing – October 10, 2008

2008-10-07T17:07:00.000-07:00

For my smash-flop return to KHUM's airwaves, I've been debating how to start the show. Sure, if tradition holds it will begin with some missed cue or blown segue, but apart from that.

So I settled on a live tune that includes a number of the elements we adore Frank for – musical mischief, impossible licks, a sprinkle of tinkertoy and great guitar playing. Which is it? Tune in at 10 p.m. this Friday, or online at at khum.com and find out.

Thanks to Scatch for asking me to sit in during his absence. While driving 54 miles every Friday night was more than I could sustain, the occasional fill-in duty is more than do-able. Plus it will be ever so fun to play rope with Chas's canine-pard Luther before the show.

I sure hope I hear from some of my old Zappa's Grubby Chamber buddies – Matt, Julia, Bob, Ron, Dave and others who – I'm sorry – that I'm forgetting.

Apart from the Frank musicks, I have a few other special moments planned, and they mainly consist of non-Frank items that I know in my heart will appeal to Zappa fans. This is Radio Without The Rules, y'know. Besides, what're they gonna do, fire me?

That great South Dakotan Russ Stedman has a new album out tittled Fear of a Podunk Planet, and it's marvy-poo. So I'll play a cut or two off that for you, the Zappa fans who I know will appreciate it. And have you listened to the latest Ween album, La Cucaracha? No? No worries, I gotcha covered... with my own bare hands.

But the main extracurricular event will be my interview with Bryan Beller. His new album, Thanks In Advance, has a lot of appeal to my Zappa-ingrained sensibilities, and so can you be too – fact of the matter, it's made for you.

That's Bryan back in the 1990s during one of his visits to Arcata. He played at the old Jambalaya Club with Beer For Dolphins and a certain Mr. Keneally, and had ordered a samwich from Hole In The Wall deli earlier in the day. Bryan wails on the bass, he dials a phone... is there no limit to this man's versatility? Clearly, Beller is the bass player America needs to help us navigate these troubled times.

I recently interviewed Bryan on the phone about his new album, about being steeped in the Zappa musical milieu and various other matters. I'll run the interview during the second hour of the show.

So tune in and dig it, baby – Zen Through Zappa's Grubby Chamber is off the wall and on the air this Friday night!

Zen Through Zappa's Grubby Chamber – Oct. 10, 2008

2008-09-20T13:21:00.001-07:00

Apparently there's been some sort of clerical error at KHUM and I'm slated to sit in for Scatch on the Zen Through Zappa show Oct. 10. Is this the return of Zappa's Grubby Chamber?

No. More like Zen Through Zappa's Grubby Chamber, special teenage Ferndale version.

It's a crazy idea, but it just might work. Developing...

Zen Through Zappa – August 1, 2008

2008-07-29T23:20:00.000-07:00

Hello my dear friends and fans from Zappa's Grubby Chamber! Though March was a million years ago, you have all been in my frequent thoughts.

I sure do miss the show. I thought leaving it would give me all kinds of time back for my day job at the newspaper, but somehow it's still a mad scramble. Why's that?

Anyway, I come bearing glad tidings: There's a new Zappa show on KHUM starting this Friday night! It's called Zen Through Zappa. And our new best friend in Frankness is Mark Scatchard.

I talked to Mark today. He became a Zappa convert during a ninth grade class trip to Merrie Olde England. Someone bought a CD of Sheik Yerbouti, he popped it in his Discman and played the first song, "I Have Been In You," and his life changed.

Why? "To hear lyrics like that, and that guitar tone, and those chops..." Mark said. Oh, we understand, don't we?

His next purchase was one of the You Can't Do That On Stage Any More albums, and he couldn't handle it. "It was way too much for me," Mark said. "I wasn't ready for that."

So he traded it in for Roxy & Elsewhere and Make A Jazz Noise Here and found himself further Frankified. Today, he's another diehard.

He used to listen to Zappa's Grubby Chamber, but tuned in one Friday night after I ended the show and it wasn't there. He survived. But then next week, same thing. "I said, 'What the hell?!?'" he quipped.

So concerned citizen Mark Scatchard called KHUM expressing his dismay, and being the kind of station it is, they asked him if he wanted to do the show. So he decided to do just that.

Here's the psychedelic part: His bowling team is sponsoring the show.

Among Mark's FZ favorites are "Echidna's Arf (Of You)," "Pygmy Twylyte" and "The Black Page." Sounds to me like he thinks right.

Mark's a musician in his own right - a guitarist, so expect a lot of good, gutty guitar, at least at first. "I like the meat-and-potatoes guitar rock," he said.

Other musicians Mark likes are in the Frank range of quality guitaristics – Stevie Ray Vaughn and Steve Vai. Incredibly, he's not familiar with Mike Keneally, so wait'll he hears Boil That Dust Speck! Oh my.

He also likes early reggae, like Toots & the Maytalls, Black Uhuru and jammers like Phish. "My tastes are pretty broad," he said.

As he gets comfortable with running the studio board, he plans to focus initially on solid songs rather than the more abstruse exercises in conceptual continuity Frank's music makes possible.

"I'm kind of viewing this as a math class," Mark said. "You don't just jump in with derivatives in calculus. I'll start with basics - not necessarily radio friendly, but songs that will grab you right away, with good riffs and solid hooks."

So let's all send Mark our cosmic love pulse matrix good vibes and tune into Zen Through Zappa on KHUM this Friday night!

Let's Eat! (Updated) – March 22, 2008

2008-03-17T11:44:00.000-07:00

This pic is of a window display at Music Millennium, an iconic music store in Portland, Oregon. Zappa's Grubby Chamber friend Mark Lovelace, who sent in the shot (thanks, Mark!) said they also had a large mural which reads "Keep Portland Weird!"

If anyone can do it, Frank can.

However, I can't. And as I mentioned last week, this is the last ZGC as we know it.

Update: Thanks, Barry, for helping tell the world of the show's demise. I guess I better try to do clean segues tonight in case people from Belgium are listening. BTW, if anyone wants to hear the groovy promo MP3 for tonight's show, write me at kevpod@arcataeye.com and I'll e-mail it to you.

For the final Zappa's Grubby Chamber, we're going to serve up and pound down a veritable feast of tasty Zappa tunes. I mean like, if we're going to sail off into the sunset and stuff, we might as well chow down on some yummy Frank music beforehand!

As with almost any topic, from soup to nuts, one finds a wealth of Frankly insight on the food situation. It may have been the most-often alluded to subject, next to matters of a horny nature and Republicans, which are often one and the same.

FZ songs that deal with food, or eating, or hunger, include "Uncle Meat," "The Dangerous Kitchen," "Cruising For Burgers," "Lumpy Gravy," "Electric Aunt Jemima," "Call Any Vegetable," "Eric Dolphy Memorial Barbecue," "Muffin Man," "The Duke of Prunes," "A Little Green Rosetta," "Marque-son's Chicken," "Chana In De Bushwop," "Any Kind of Pain" and others that you or I will think of between now and Friday.

I'm working on some possible telephone guests. They may or may not happen.

But it's a groovable feast on this, the last Zappa's Grubby Chamber.

The Genius – March 14, 2008

2008-03-12T22:55:00.000-07:00

People, I am leaving Zappa's Grubby Chamber – at least for now.

The reason is the physical toll on my chassis. As presently configured, doing the show requires driving to and fro in a 54-mile round-trip on a Friday eve/Saturday morn amid Taco Bell-engorged teens, Humboldt County weather and local California Highway Patrol officers on the make. Get the picture?

There's a loyal cadre of hardcore listeners, but as to any larger appeal, I just don't know. Is there any place for a dedicated Frank Zappa music show on FM radio any more? I'd like to think there is. I certainly have a ton of unexploited show themes.

But... with a few shows left to do, I plan to wind up with a flourish of genius. What songs best exemplify Frank Zappa at his most artful and clever?

To me, there are some clear best-of-the-best songs. "Echidna's Arf (Of You)," "Pygmy Twylyte," "Andy," "The Jazz Discharge Party Hats," and so many, many, more.

Genius Frank, on the next-to-last Zappa's Grubby Chamber.

They Discussed the Weather – March 7, 2008

2008-03-05T10:22:00.000-08:00

Frank always said his lyrics involved a measure of journalism. Through his songs, we got updates on a certain draft-dodging mountain, Eskimos with deflicted eyes, frogs with dirty little lips and other pressing matters of the day.

Plus, weather! Yes, Frank oftrn included weather reports in his music, these bearing on brown clouds, rainfall, weird and even scary winds and more.

For the March 7 Zappa's Grubby Chamber, we'll dwell on matters weatherly with songs like "Anyway the Wind Blows," "Teenage Wind," "Wild Love" and more.

You won't need a weatherman for the March 7 ZGC.

Laff Riot – February 29, 2008

2008-02-28T09:46:00.000-08:00

That was a fun show last week. The bouncy-bouncy music really kept me moving, from song to bouncy song, doing the busy DJ thing.

Not much word from listeners though, other than the erstwhile Ron in Richmond. I’m going to assume that everyone was dancing on their coffee tables with lampshades on their heads to the jolly, jolly ever-so-jolly tuneage. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it, if only for the visual.

This week, how about we dwell on the joy, the smiles... the laughter. Not Frank’s “comedy music” per se, but songs in which there is actual laughing. Where will that take us?

There are a lot of Zappa songs that include people laughing, sometimes a belly laugh, other times just a snicker or chortle. There’s a bunch on One Size Fits All, and on Ship Arriving Too Late to Save a Drowning Witch, that crappy ’70s “laugh box” thing crops up on side two in several places.

What else? “The Blue Light,” “Jesus Thinks You’re A Jerk,” “Planet of the Baritone Women.” If I wanted to be lazy, and I might just, I could put on “Greggery Peccary,” then sit back and relax because of the part where Greggery greets the ladies in the steno pool. Or I could do the same with “Billy the Mountain,” because of Billy’s reaction to Studebaker Hawk trying to draft him into the armed forces.

There must be more, but I’m not cheating and looking at the discography. It’s all from scratch, with homemade ingredients, fresh from nature’s bounty, for you, the Zappa listener, because we at Zappa’s Grubby Chamber care enough to bring you the best, to help make your lifestyle a lifesmile.

Whatever. Does “Hoy Hoy Hoy” count?

Bouncy, Bouncy... Bubbly? – February 22, 2008

2008-02-22T08:11:00.000-08:00

Last week's Torpitidy Festival wasn't especially well received. Or maybe it was, the entropic spiral being so contagious that it immobilized everyone, preventing them from writing in or calling during the show.

Actually, one of the regulars (who shall go nameless because his girlfriend might find out) did call during the show and he definitely sounded sedated. But I don't think it was because of the music.

Anyway, I thought a good way to bounce back from all the slow songs on the last show would be to play lots of bouncy-jolly Frank songs this week. And once you start thinking about it, there's a lot of 'em!

"Wowie Zowie," "Wet T-Shirt Night," "Poofter's Froth Wyoming Plans Ahead," "Rudy Wants To Buy Yez A Drink," "Pygmy Twylyte," "Cletus-Awreetus-Awrightus," "Camarillo Brillo," "Take Your Clothes Off When You Dance," and more that we'll no doubt get into on the show.

And while we're tapping our collective foot to all this bounciness, why not quaff the latest bubbly bev by our Friend in Frank, Tony Magee of Lagunitas Brewing Company. Tony's minions dropped off some Lumpy Gravy Ale at the studio, and somehow it ended up being consumed along with my birthday dinner. Yum.

Bouncy, Bouncy, Bubbly on the Feb. 22, 2008 Zappa's Grubby Chamber!

Too Adagio – February 15, 2008

2008-02-13T08:58:00.000-08:00

The great thing about Frank's vast and eclectic repertoire is that you can pick any concept and find plenty of material – at least two hour's worth – to create a theme show.

So, this week, the secret word is Midwinter Torpor. We're all hunkered down under overcast skies, trying to keep from getting pelted by them raindrops, moving kinda slow... slow.

That's it! The mystery and enchantment of sheer s l o w n e s s.

I've noticed that in any given week, I usually have fairly firm ideas of what I'll probably play that fits with the theme. But sometimes, such as with last week's Sheer Elegance show, I end up not even playing the stuff I thought was key, like "Bolero." You just never know where the music (especially the requests, thank you) will take you.

Well, "Bolero" will fit in just right with the Slow theme, as will "Why Does It Hurt When I Pee?" "I Have Been In You," "Sleep Dirt," "Hog Heaven" and many more.

We've got the s l o w w w w w w s on this week's Zappa's Grubby Chamber.

Sheer Elegance – February 8, 2008

2008-02-07T21:45:00.000-08:00

So much confusion surrounds Frank Zappa.

He didn't care. But I do!

I've spent my damn life proselytizing for Frank's genius. And at long last I've arrived in a place where I know I'm not alone in my appreciation for something so right. Matt, Bob, Ron, Julia, Dave, Russ, Gail, Barry, Ed and the literally several others who brighten my Friday nights during the show – thanks!

As I was saying... part of being a self-appointed Frank Zappa emissary to Earth is disabusing folks of their erroneous notions – sometimes willfully cultivated by Frank (thanks, Frank!) – about Frank and his music.

Perhaps the most overlooked aspect of his music is its sheer elegance. No one would argue that there's anything more exalted on the face of God's Great Earth than "Sofa" or "Regyptian Strut." But what about "Strictly Genteel" and "Bolero?"

Beyond the classical-esque tnes, there's the sheer elegance of "Zoot Allures" (I'm thinking of the DHBIM? version), "Evelyn, A Modified Dog" and the ultimate in majestic Frank music, "Watermelon In Easter Hay." And I'll use any excuse I can get to play "Drowning Witch."

So tune in for the eleganza extravaganza!

Then and Now – January 31, 2008

2008-01-28T19:40:00.000-08:00

Residing in my happy rut of '70s/'80s Zappa music for so long before I started doing the show, I hadn't realized the intensity with which a substantial portion of the FZ community beholds Early Frank. So many of the requests are for '60s-era tunes, or what I think of as Frank's first drafts.

You know I love the versioning... You seem not to mind, either. Hey, as long as it's Frank music, what could go wrong?

So, for the Feb. 1, 2008 Zappa's Grubby Chamber, let's try playing the early versions of various songs, and then the later iterations. So many to choose from... "Ain't Got No Heart," "Brown Shoes," "Cruising for Burgers," "King Kong..."

And whatever you think up!

Essential Frank – January 25, 2008

2008-01-25T14:15:00.000-08:00

Running late this week, so without any real time to prepare, this week's show concept is... Essential Frank.

What's the single most definitive Zappa song? "Peaches?" "Valley Girl?" "Orrin Hatch On Skis?"

Well, that's just it – there isn't any one tune that really defines the Zappa experience. Even in two hours, I doubt that we could get Frank's core repertoire covered.

But we can try! I have my "ideas," but what are yours? Call 'em in, or e-mail the studio during the show as we set the controls for the crux of the biscuit!

Definitely A Case Of Moo-Aah (Updated) – January 18, 2008

2008-01-14T20:37:00.000-08:00

Fucked up.

There's no other way to describe the state of the relationship 'twixt the Zappa Family Trust and the peeps right now. It's really depressing.

I say we need an immediate transfusion of Frank energy – and fast!

That's why this week's Zappa's Grubby Chamber will continue the blasphemous tirade undertaken last week, wherein we deploy yet more budget homage to Frank in the form of tunes off Where's My Waitress?, a brilliant disc created by our South Dakota correspondent and new best friend, Russ Stedman. (He was on the show last week. The subject of Suzy Quatro came up briefly.)

I doubt that I'll be able to resist playing the only non-cover tune on WMW?, a cayenne-flavored confection called "Frank," by the Rudy Schwartz Project. That thing rivals Godley & Creme's "Sandwiches of You" or Emerson, Lake & Palmer's "Bullfrog" as an in-your-face paean (where'd you get that word?) to FZ's genius.

The Jan. 11 show was based on the concept that there's nothing better on the face of God's Great Earth than that Prince of Musics, bedroom tapes by the sequestered geniuses of our land. Well, them and Frank. And so will this show be too. Fact of the matter – it's made for you.

So strap in for another bout of merciless versioning, with the WMW? tracks interspersed (where'd you get that word?) with the official FZ versions. I may even be able to wrangle another phone interview with one of the participating musicians.

Update: The amazing Kevyn Dymond will be a telephone guest around 10:30 p.m. Pacific. he contributed some songs to WMW?, and we'll talk about them and play them and like them. and him.

As rough as things are in Zappaland at the moment, there's still the fact that a lot of people are spending their own teenage money and time not just to purchase, enjoy and write about Zappa music, but they're even making it on their own. And some nitwit in way Northern California is playing it on the radio.

So how bad is it, really? Moo-aah!

Where's My Waitress? – January 11, 2008

2008-01-07T11:19:00.000-08:00

So, I got on the elevator at Jacoby's Storehouse yesterday only to encounter former Barking Dogma guitarist Kevyn Dymond. I drummed once for BD when they opened for BFD – that's Mike Keneally's Beer For Dolphins – at the old Jambalaya Club.

Kevyn handed me a CD titled Where's My Waitress?, above. It's a disc jam-packed with versions of FZ songs prepared by home tapers. These appear to be rugged-individualist/misfit-types who like to do solo musical projects in their smelly little secret black light bedrooms on Long Island.

And elsewhere. These songs look like they've been done by guys all over the country. Kevyn has a few on there, as does an interesting guy named Russ Stedman. Russ appears to have manufactured the compilation, so I e-mailed him and asked if I could play WMW? on the show, and he said "Go for it."

Note that this whole thing is quasi-legal at best... actually it's just done for the love of Frank music, which may or may not go unpunished. Says the liner notes, "All of the music in this collection was written by Frank Zappa [with one exception] and is no doubt controlled for all the world and space by the Zappa Family Trust..."

The exception is "Frank," by Joe Newman, which is quite charming. I'll start out the Jan. 11, 2008 show with that, then we'll proceed to a heavy-duty session of versioning, wherein I play the Frank version of the song and then the equivalent WMW? rendition.

I had actually planned to drill through a bunch of new (to me) material donated to the show by another listener, our friend and Brother In Frank, Matt Walden (Matt Chu to you). But there's so dang much of it, I think I need another week to assimilate.

So, it's Where's My Waitress? and beyond, for the Jan. 11, 2008 Zappa's Grubby Chamber. Phone in your comments to (707) 786-5486, or studio@khum.com.

Bluster & Bombast – January 3, 2008

2008-01-02T08:34:00.000-08:00

The above portrait is by my friend Rick Dula, who I haven't spoken with in 20 years at least. I don't know that the drawing captures Frank's essence, but Rick really was a good artist. Probably still is.

The eyes are a little too pretty, and kind of remind me of a Keane painting. (I guess that's the ultimate insult for a serious artist. Sorry, Rick.) My first grade teacher used to drum it into us, "Don't bear down on the pencil." Ahem, Mr. Dula? In fairness, I think the drawing has become smeared over the ages as well, as Rick was anything but heavy-handed.

But Frank could be! Oh yes, when it comes to raging rock, Zappa music holds up with the most bombastic blustering brobdingnagian blasts ever recorded.

There's "Them Or Us," "Rat Tomago," "Easy Meat" and lots of stuff off of the various Guitar albums that we at Zappa's Grubby Chamber would be pleased as punch to club you over the head with, for your listening pleasure.

There's another reason why playing bombastic Frank tunes is The Right Thing To Do. As I write this Friday morning, there's a big storm a-comin' in – three, actually – and we're supposed to give weather updates throughout our shows. So, commensurate with the bluster inside, it'll take some smashing Zappa music to be heard above the din.

Bombast and bluster, on this week's ZGC.

A Frank Finale – December 28, 2007

2007-12-26T21:05:00.000-08:00

The embittered state of the Zappa community at this moment in history, and the rift with the ZFT has me pining for a simpler time – when Frank was in charge, making music and the wars were with the tyrannical record companies, not between the fans and the Zappa family, of all things.

Reading about the various Frank-celebrating musical endeavors that are in peril because of letters like Barry at KUR got is heartbreaking. Musicians go and learn wonderful Frank music, take the trouble to play it live for an eager public and are made to feel like war criminals, intentionally or not, for this wholesome activity.

There's a case to be made that Gail ought to deal with the fans as allies, and personally rather than through attorneys and impersonal letters. Because that's what we are, really. Doing so would be a more fitting and effective way to accomplish the ZFT's intellectual property protection issues. And not piss everyone off so dang much.

But you know what? Just as the present-day composer refuses to die, The Year of the Freak is imminent. What I get out of that is, no matter what, we still have the great music and no one can wreck our relationship with it.

So, for the Dec. 28, 2007 Zappa's Grubby Chamber, the last show of the year, I'm just going to spin a bunch of meat-and-potatoes great FZ tunes willy nilly over the air, with only the rhyme and reason Frank imbued into them.

As we end another broadcast year, it's back to being about the Zappa music rather than the politics of Zappa music.

That's College Rhythm – December 21, 2007

2007-12-20T20:23:00.000-08:00

Jesse Alm & Gianni Bisio at the KHUM studio
before the Dec. 21, 2007 Zappa's Grubby Chamber.

One of Dweezil's missions with the Zappa Plays Zappa tours is to expose younger people to Frank's music. A noble endeavor, to be sure.

But you know what? By some mystical process, younger musically-intense folk who need Zappa do find their way to him and his incomparable repertoire, even without adult proselytising.

Some "Get in Touch With [Their] Inner Zappa" via the academic route, while others make contact with once-young case of arrested development accidentally placed in charge of a venerable radio show.

The serious young musicians intuitively equivilate the really good shit – Radiohead, Jethro Tull, Zappa – regardless of the decade in which it was produced.

In my travels, I've come to know two college-age guys who grok the greatness of Frank. They'll both be on the show tomorrow night – in fact, they're running it.

In alphabetical order:

Jesse Alm, 19, is the Arcata Eye's Glances editor, and a brilliant (my opinion) young writer and journalist. A student at the University of California San Diego, Jesse's majoring in International Studies with a minor in Political Science. He plays cello and piano, listens to "a lot of jazz," and particularly enjoys Oscar Peterson, Herbie Hancock and Medeski, Martin & Wood. His musical guilty pleasure is reggae. He likes to play frisbee, too.

Jesse likes Frank to the extent of e-mailing me during the show requesting Frank covers by other bands that I don't even know about.

Jesse co-hosts the show with a man two years his senior, Mr. Gianni Bisio. Gianni used to be a checker at Murphy's Sunny Brae Market, and knows more about '70s prog than I do, in molecular detail, even though I freaking lived through it. I'd go in to buy my deplorable groceries, and we'd end up in a half-hour discussion of John Wetton's career in the salad dressing aisle. Now he's a Psychology major at Sacramento State.

Asked to name three main musical influences, Gianni lists Jimi Hendrix, the Moody Blues and Emerson, Lake and Palmer. Again, he's 21. Note that Gianni can tell you everything about Yes, King Crimson, Genesis, and probably even Marillion - probably more than the guys who were in those bands. I've never really successfully gotten him into Tull, though – it just never took. (Update: He's WAAAY into Tull - my mistake!) But he understands Frank, and that's really all that matters.

So, the premise of this week's show is College Rhythm. My goal is to have Jesse and Gianni do most of the song selection and commentary. I'm extending the charter of the show beyond Frank tunes, to include other musicks that these guys know about that might appeal to Frank fans. We'll have them play tunes, then talk about their cosmic significance in Zappa's universe.

Call or write during the show if you want; you know how.

Gail's Side – December 15, 2007

2007-12-14T09:49:00.000-08:00

Note: below is my inquiry to Gail Zappa and her reply. – KLH

Gail,

Since I'm a newspaper editor, I know all too well that it's unwise to opine before hearing all sides.

If you were able to shed any light at all on the reasoning behind the lawyer letter to Barry at KUR, I'm sure it would be helpful to many.

Kevin
Zappa's Grubby Chamber

***************

Kevin,

I am going to take you at your word (without proof or a reason to do so) and answer your question. Thanks for asking. If you want to do the actual research it takes to understand the evolution of this particular circumstance, be my guest. I am not going to recount it for you.

Apart from any real, new, or naive fans seeing our properties on various sites and somehow having the idea that we are supporting these or authorizing them by virtue of their 'use', among other of the many problems that we continue to face as the rights owners of all things Zappa is how to protect our copyrights and what is the risk of failure to do so. This always means spending dollars to chase virtual pennies. Not a great or rewarding plan.

(Oh yes, and they always claim they are spending so much money to honor FZ. Cacadoody. It is the Music, not gossip and fiction and innuendo that bring fans to Zappa.)

My favorite idea of a good time in these instances would be to be able to authorize these "fan" sites and work with them as part of the education and cooperation process - even though that is time-consuming. In the main, these people NEVER write or contact us up front to ask permission. (Considerate fans do.)

Unfortunately it is not always fans - but rather people who have their own agenda and do not wish it to be interfered with. There are so many that cast themselves as 'god' and then cast FZ in their own image. This is not fun for us. Ignorance is ignorable to a degree. But when you see the abuse level increase with the posting of obviously copyrighted material where no permission was sought or even contemplated and when that expands to include the posting of bit torrents or links to them, including work that we just published, the lines get drawn pretty swiftly.

It should be noted that some of this is done on an autopilot basis - in the sense that some of the letters generated by our legal representatives and others happen without being able to advance the possibilities of a resolution. Lately however, as our ability to increase the output from the Vault expands, we are more dismayed than ever at how rude, crude and insensitive these purported "fans" can be. And the proof that they are actually not fans is in their utter disregard for FZ's works and their meanness toward my (FZ's/our) family that they express - along with the considerable abuse of copyrighted materials and trademarks. Real fans do not do that.

The idea that these types are doing us any favors is preposterous. The idea that anyone thinks these properties were created for them to use as they wish is preposterous. But the idea that they have the self-appointed right to to so is against the law as protected under the Constitution of the United States of America and enforced by whatever legal means available to us and to Frank Zappa during his lifetime.

We did not write these laws but they have made it possible for FZ to make a living and to provide for his family doing the very thing he loved - writing Music. And they have made it possible for us to continue to survive preserving those very works. Consider if we could not do so - there would be no Vault.

Since his death people can (and do) make any claim they wish as to what they think FZ would do - or say or think. But I do not wish to waste my time on this. I still work for FZ. And my promise, my duty and my obligation remains - to protect the integrity of the work and the intent of the Composer and in service to this purpose I will defend his identity and the right for his name (image & likeness) to be associated with his work - and the right for the work to remain unaltered, and unabused by others. I will continue to do this for my grandchildren and my children, for all the people who love the music, for all the potential in all those with the ears and insight to hear it - and first, last and always for Frank Zappa. Long may we all laugh.

Music is the Best!

Don't Be A Lawyer – December 21, 2007

2007-12-14T08:32:00.000-08:00

Well, this sucks.

It's hard, on the face of it, to see how Barry's definitive Zappa resource harms Frank's memory or the Zappa Family Trust, but I'll refrain from judgment until we hear Gail's reasoning.

What I do know is that Kill Ugly Radio is, like Frank's music, THE BEST.

However, beware. It can happen here, too. If the hammer comes down on our tiny enterprise, whatever shall we do?

Remember when

http://globalia.net/donlope/fz/songs/Tell_Me_You_Love_Me.html#Lawyer

27-Jul 1984, Greek Theater, Berkeley, CA
Soundcheck: 54 min, Aud, C/C-
Drowning Witch, ???, The Deathless Horsie, Black Page, guitar solo, guitar solo (q: Let's Move To Cleveland), You Are What You Is, Mudd Club, The Meek Shall Inherit Nothing, The Dangerous Kitchen, Cocaine Decisions, Nig Biz
100 min, Aud, B+
Zoot Allures, Tinseltown Rebellion, Oh No, Son Of Orange County, More Trouble Every Day, Penguin In Bondage, Hot Plate Heaven At The Green Hotel, Dumb All Over, Evil Prince, Carolina Hardcore Ecstasy, Advance Romance, He's So Gay, Bobby Brown, Keep It Greasey, Honey Don't You Want A Man Like Me?, Carol You Fool, Chana In De Bushwop, Let's Move To Cleveland, Why Don't You Like Me?, Be In My Video, Cosmik Debris, The Illinois Enema Bandit

http://www.afka.net/Articles/1990-04_Society_Pages.htm

DS: The secret word definitely was brought to new highs during that tour, huh?

FZ: That's true.

DS: "Tell Me You Love Me" kind of has gone through some evolutions. Obviously, it evolved into "Why Don't You Like Me". Before that in '84, there was somethin' sort of in-between...

FZ: "Don't Be A Lawyer". [24]

DS: "Don't Be A Lawyer". (FZ laughs) I'm not really too familiar with the lyrics of that, but what's the basic gist of... I know what the other two mean. I'm familiar with those lyrics, but what's the basic gist of "Don't Be A Lawyer"? What's that song about?

FZ: Well, basically we have too many lawyers in the United States, and most of the things that are wrong with the, well, let's look at it this way. If you had the belief that living, when you, let's see, how do I say this? Let's say you're a regular person and you have a regular life and you just wanna do your regular stuff. Hanging over your head is the possibility that you could run afoul of the law, laws which you don't even know exist. There's always a chance that the government, in some way, is going to give you a bad time. This leads to the belief, the widespread belief, I feel in the United States, that the average guy can't get a fair deal, because there is no fair deal available anymore, and that always, there lurks the possibility that in order for you to survive, just to stay out of jail or to stay out of bankruptcy, you're gonna have to use the services of a lawyer. Well, the lawyer is not your friend, because the lawyers are the people who created the situation where there are so many laws that it makes your life miserable. It's a self-perpetuating monstrosity, and we have too many lawyers dispensing bad law, actually participating in the creation of bad law at the point where they become legislators. I think that it's time for some social engineering to steer people away from the legal profession. There are just too many lawyers for our own good. These guys have to earn a living, too, and so you wind up with people suggesting that you sue somebody else. That's how they earn their money, by generating paperwork. You will pay them money
to make somebody else's life miserable and vice-versa. That's what's lurking beneath the surface of American life right now.

DS: It's a (Den pronounces it wrong) litigious society.

FZ: Yeah. You pronounce it litigious.

Nuance-Crazed – December 14, 2007

2007-12-10T09:02:00.000-08:00

Does your girlfriend like Frank? Tolerate him, maybe? If so, consider yourself fortunate. Many well-dressed people in several locations may share everything from sensitive poetry to various fluids, but all too frequently, the Zappa coffee-and-cigarette energy eludes joint assimilation. In other words, she don't like it.

If you think about the few Zappa tunes that have penetrated the morass of sameness that constitutes mass-market music (I don't need to name these songs for you), you understand why the lay perception of Frank has to do with brashness and bombast. Don't eat the yellow snow, hyuk, hyuk!

But we know that Zappa music comes in a full range of colors, textures and temperatures, from searing to shimmering and often, quite subtle. That's the kind of thing I plan to play on the Dec. 13, 2007 Zappa's Grubby Chamber.

The reason is, near the end of last week's "Smell the Glove" show, Julie e-mailed in a request for "Black Napkins." But I already had the final theme tunes loaded up and timed out to the top of the hour, so I wasn't able to play it. That song has some real mega-nuanced guitar "licks" (all over), as does its even more subtle companion piece, "Pink Napkins" (I think of them as related, anyway). And what else?

"Lucille," "I Promise Not To Come In Your Mouth," "Watermelon in Easter Hay," "Spider of Destiny""Rubber Shirt," "Outside Now," "Canarsie," "Stucco Homes," "While You Were Art II," "The Ocean Is The Ultimate Solution," "Blessed Relief," "One Man, One Vote," "Tink Walks Amok," "Jonestown," "Damp Ankles," "Project X," "St. Etienne," "Canard Du Jour" and even "Weasels Ripped My Flesh" all come to mind, and might get played.

I'm not saying this music is romantic, but it's got some aspects of that Zappa guy that your average "Valley Girl" fan might not know about. Or even your girlfriend.

Meanwhile, last week

Every week I write down a list of the songs I played, and then do nothing at all with it. Henceforth, I shall make an effort to jot down here what the last show consisted of, apart from ads, announcements and extraneous occurrences.

Dec. 7 was a good show (for me, anyway). I wasn't sure how the "Smell the Glove" theme would come together, but it did, and quite smoothly.

Torrid tuneage consisted of:

Be In My Video
Mudd Club
Rudy Wants To Buy Yez A Drink
We're Turning Again (FZMTMOP)
We're Turning Again (YCDTOSA6)
Is That Guy Kidding Or What?
I Have Been In You (Sheik Yerbouti)
I Have Been In you (YCDTOSA6)
Carolina Hard-Core Ecstacy (Bongo Fury)
Carolina Hard-Core Ecstacy (YCDTOSA4)
Tinseltown Rebellion (Tinseltown Rebellion)
Tinseltown Rebellion (DHBIM?)
Mud Shark/What Kind of Girl Do You Think We Are?/Bwana Dik/Latex Solar Beef/Do You Like My New Car?/Happy Together
Punky's Whips (ZINY)
Punky's Whips (Baby Snakes)
Purple Haze/Sunshine Of Your Love

Smell the Glove – December 7, 2007 (Updated)

2007-12-03T21:29:00.001-08:00

Frank wasn't shy about mentioning his musical contemporaries in songs, or of plugging in their more appealing/revolting verbiage and musical hooks for non sequitur purposes.

The photo above incorporates two 1980s pop culture references – Michael Jackson's idiotic single glove fashion statement, and Spinal Tap's legendary but nonexistent "Smell the Glove" album. (Sorry it's such a crappy pic.)

Without even looking in Barry's Zappa Wiki Jawaka, I can easily think of a dozen or more rock stars mentioned in Frank's music, either by name or with musical quotes: Suzi Quatro, Peter Frampton, Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young, Jimi Hendrix, Boy George, Michael Jackson, Joni Mitchell, Roger Daltrey, Janis Joplin, Donovan, Punky Meadows, Cream, Jeff Beck, Al DiMeola, Alvin Lee...

And what about the Beatles? Frank performed with John Lennon and Yoko that time, and Ringo played Frank in 200 Motels. When We're Only In It For The Money came out, there was some legal dispute over the cover, which riffed on Sgt. Pepper. Frank called Paul McCartney to see if he would let the Mothers put out their parody, and Paul said something like, "That's what we have lawyers for." Frank, as I recall, told Paul in so many words that actually, the lawyers do work for us and we can tell them what to do.

The weakest Beatle link would be George Harrison. No known contact. But George did mention Frank in his song, "Blood From A Clone." Can you think of two more dissimilar guitar players than Frank and George?

By the way, "Oh No" is about John Lennon, isn't it?

So anyway, for the December 7, 2007 Zappa's Grubby Chamber, I'll play lots of songs that include pop culture references, mentioning other musicians either by name or by hook.

Update, Friday night: 'Twas in October that Chocolate Bob, aka "Bob in Tempe" dropped off the entirely splendid interpretation of Frank's pouting rictus by artist Connie Fisher at the station. I told him it reminded me of an old John Lennon poster I have up in my office. I'm just getting around to taking a pic of them side by side, and here it is:
This week's post seems like the perfect place to have two of my favorite guys, John and Frank, side by side. Yes, that is a set o' Dweezil-signed Zappanties dangling from the Casio electronic sax-o-phone to the left, and to the lefter is a Joe Jackson "Beat Crazy" poster. On the right is the edge of the classic Asia poster as seen in The 40-Year-Old Virgin.

Thanks, Chocolate Bob in Tempe, Arizona!

OK, headed out the door to the studio to bungle a bunch of segues... see you on the radio!

Tinkertoys

2007-11-26T11:29:00.000-08:00

Had Frank allowed himself to cheat, cheatily-cheat like all the rest, he could have been merely a distinguished rock and roll icon, or master bluesman, or paragon of neoclassicism, or a Spike Jonesish musical comedian.

But no. Along with all that, he had to go and invent little ditties that the best conservatory-trained musicians struggled to play properly. This would be Frank's "Tinkertoy" music – the tunes with all those little notes that fly by at 8,200 mph, usually set against some impossible time signature.

"Drowning Witch/Envelopes," besides being hilariously imaginative and featuring truly evocative guitar expression, includes some completely bitchin' flurries of notes, including the Hawaiian Punch jingle. In the liner notes to YCDTOSA III, Frank notes that the 1984 band never played in correctly all the way through, and that the 1982 band only came close on one occasion. That's why the album version of the song had to be stitched together from 17 different performances.

There are Tinkertoy-dense songs, like "Moggio," "St. Alfonzo's Pancake Breakfast," "Wild Love," and many others. And everyone (except possibly Sam Brownback) adores those two all-time top Tinkertoy tunes, "Peaches En Regalia" and "The Black Page." Of course, many other "routine" Zappa songs are punctuated by mind-blowing micro-note passages.

This tendency may be Frank's most defining characteristic. When you hear those amazing passages, you know right away that you're listening to Zappa music. But he didn't seem to see any musical difference between the impossible parts and the most guttural rock or blistering blues. They were all flavors on his musical pallet, ready for deployment at his whim.

So, for the Nov. 30, 2007 Zappa's Grubby Chamber, we'll play lots of highly challenging (for the players) Frank songs encrusted with jillions of tiny notes, those little quick ones that no one else really ever tried to play.

Classical Frank

2007-11-17T08:59:00.000-08:00

Obviously Frank's music can be and has been articulated many different ways, from a capella to full symphonic treatments. Rock may have been the core – or at least the funding mechanism –
of the Zappa experience, but the only thing that minimized his use of more elaborate instrumental assemblages was their cost and inherent management problems.

Even young Frank would hire orchestras from time to time, just to hear his music played. And he knew how to get the big band sound by augmenting the rock bands with horn and percussion sections. In attempting to more fully instrumentalize his music, he got screwed a few times.

Nonetheless, given his persistence and productivity, over the years Frank did manage to overcome the obstacles and create a solid body of what we might call "classical" music, whatever that is. With small ensembles, full orchestras and in digital realms, he explored the harmonic and percussive climes of fine, fine music.

On the November 27, 2007 Zappa's Grubby Chamber, we'll enjoy a pleasant Thanksgiving treat together as some of us digest and assimilate slaughtered turkey remains – Classical Frank. And I'll be channeling sort of a combo of Sebastian Cabot and Leonard Pinth-Garnell for the occasion.

Who Is Making Those New Brownback Clouds?

2007-11-14T08:50:00.000-08:00

By now, you, today's concerned Frank Zappa fan, probably know about the dumpster-based deathcult that comprises the Sam Brownback for President campaign.

Someone from that camp – or purporting to be, anyway – said some rude things about Our Hero that really don't bear repeating. Suffice to say that they're perfectly in keeping with the whole Neocon Repuglican ethos we've come to know and loathe over these past seven years.

I think it's up for grabs as to whether anyone could actually be that stupid, even knowing the depths of intellectual and moral depravity the Party of Piety has become so deservedly known for. It could be some kind of ultra-hip conceptual art project or something. But some on both sides took it seriously, as the comment threads on the Brownback blog and good old Kill Ugly Radio demonstrate.

Unfortunately, some Frank fans responded to the hate rhetoric in the same spirit in which it was (maybe) intended. Here's one particularly piquant hunk o' blowback, appealing of only for the rhythm and texture of the verbiage:

You sad sacks of decaying human pus … thank your Imaginary Cop for the ignorance that keeps the shredded integuments of your twisted little faux-reality intact. You plainly lack the morals, the intellect or the maturity to stomach the alternative.

Guy’s been stone dead for almost 15 years - hey, wow, so has the conscience of the USA!

Coincidence?

And so on. But really, what's the point? Do we need to become like them to define them? Do you think Frank would have wasted his time flaming morons? Sure, but he'd do it musically.

And did. So, for the Nov. 16 Zappa's Grubby Chamber, we'll harken back to those halcyon days when Mr. Z "celebrated" the Republicans of his day in song. And whenever the word "Falwell" or "Robertson" or "Meese" comes up, we'll mentally substitute "Brownback."

Extra Texture

2007-11-07T22:34:00.001-08:00

From The Gallery of Regrettable Food by James Lileks.

"Pressed shank braised with smoker's phlegm."

Frank was second to none in bringing forth interesting sonic textures. Turning on a dime from syphilitic buzzsaw guitar to cayenne-pepper harmonic climes to flurries of the impish xylophone merriment, Frank danced the blues. Also the greens, purples, burnt siennas and mellow yellows of our imagination.

Frank always had a good beat, funny lyrics, great insights, all enveloped in the most enchanting textural cocoons. Electronic mischief, xenochrony, found items, traditional instruments used in fantastically expressive ways – he just had a way with sound.

"The Black Page #1" is a fine example of Frank's sound sculpting. Terry's drums are adorned with percussive dubs in a merry dance of sound. What about that shimmering cascade after the forst line of "Why Does it Hurt When I Pee?" What could that signify? Here's another one: that woeful vocal sample on "Promiscuous," the one that reacts to Dr. Koop's fascinating lecture? The portentous trombone in "Cheepnis" alone is worth the price of admission.

Some of my favorite Frank soundification is on the vastly overlooked L. Shankar album, Touch Me There. Does anyone else love that genius work as much as I do? The ashy, raspy texture on "Windy Morning" is so delicious. What about the fantastic clash of jammin' guitars and inter-galactic orchestral strings on "Little Stinker?"

Well, there's a lot to choose from. The Nov. 9, 2007 Zappa's Grubby Chamber will be chock full of texture. And maybe, just for texture, I'll read some of James Lileks' favorite dishes. Yum! Send your textural suggestions to studio@khum.com or call (707) 786-5486.

Flower Power

2007-11-01T06:30:00.001-07:00

Frank wasn't necessarily a fan of flower power and things psychedelic. Best I can tell, it wasn't contempt, but more... let's say, "rueful bemusement." Yeah, that.

Frank certainly could have cashed in on the whole hippie-music phenomenon, since he emerged onto the music scene right when all that was happening, man. Instead, he unreservedly hoisted all the flower-power pretense on its groovy petard with songs like "Flower Punk," and "Absolutely Free (The Track)."

Here's what Frank said in a 1968 interview with Rolling Stone (Oh, it's gotta be true!):

You once told Davy Jones of The Monkees you liked Monkees music better than anything you'd heard from San Francisco. Were you serious?
I said most of what they recorded sounded better. People think San Francisco rock is supposed to be cosmic value and all that, but it is manufactured music and manufactured music is worthless. Monkees music is manufactured, too, of course, and I'd like to say at this point: they're worth about the same, except the Monkees records sound better produced. The problem with San Francisco groups is, I was expecting wonders, and miracles and what I heard was a bunch of white blues bands that didn't sound as funky as my little band in high school.

And yet, just in terms of production values, songs on Freak Out! and Absolutely Free do sound kind of like Jefferson Airplane music. You know, the gutless drum sound, the treble-y guitar, the too-much-echo and overall lack of dynamic range. I doubt if most of the psychedelic bands had any higher aspirations, but we know Frank did. The shitty sound was surely a result of uncomprehending engineers in white shirts and ties utilizing 10-foot poles to operate the primitive recording equipment, and all on a low budget since the execs weren't sure if the rock "fad" would last another 10 minutes.

On the Nov. 2 Zappa's Grubby Chamber, we'll delve into Frank's psychedelic side and maybe even play a few tracks by other rockin' teenage combos of the era, including my favorite psychedelic band, the Peanut Butter Conspiracy.

Regarding the groovy rendering of Frank above, it appeared at the KHUM studio with my name on it, so THANKS to whomever dropped it off. It's by Connie Fisher, a Verde Valley, Arizona artist and designer. Check out her site for some really mind-expanding art and music!

Hobnoblin' wit de Goblin

2007-10-22T13:45:00.000-07:00

Ah, Halloween. A special night for Frank, and all who revel in Zappatude. Why? Because that's when dangerous magic is afoot.

Halloween 1981. I remember it well, Eric Rowland and I were trying to manage an embarrassment of pre-digital riches that night, what with Frank appearing live on MTV while his embittered former employees did what they could in a bar in Hayward, Calif. (see above). While Eric taped the show on his BetaMax down in Fremont, I zoomed up to Hayward and partook of Jimmy Carl, Don Preston and the rest. Just to say I did, really – the real musical event was Frank, always energized by this particular holiday.

For the Oct. 26 Zappa's Grubby Chamber, we'll unleash hordes of barking pumpkins and maybe a giant poodle or two your way, because it's Halloween!

Anything Anytime Anyplace For No Reason At All

2007-10-17T20:26:00.000-07:00

Frank talked about time a lot. I think it fascinated him. Think about it.

First, there's all those references to wasting time (in "Flakes," "Greggery Peccary," "Cosmick Debris," "The Meek Shall Inherit Nothing," The Jazz Discharge Party Hats" and so on).

Not to mention "infinity and fractional divisions thereof." And what to make of this?

"Folks, as you can see for yourself, the way this clock over here is behaving, TIME IS OF AFFLICTION! Now this might be cause for alarm among a portion of you, as, from a certain experience, I TEND TO PROCLAIM: 'THE EONS ARE CLOSING'!"

And then there's the elephant in the room: Frank's freewheeling use of insane time signatures. No one has even woven together so many nonstandard timings so effortlessly and so... bouncily.

But wait – there's more! What about Frank's ethic of "AAAFNRAA" – "Anything Anytime Anyplace For No Reason At All?" Which brings us to Xenochrony.

Get the picture?

So, take all of the above, roll it on up and top it with a little green rosetta, and you have ample grist for me to botch Friday night's show with.

By the way

I've had a lot of participation and feedback during the last few shows. Listener suggestions tend to take the show in unintended directions, which Frank would've liked. So keep it coming, by whatever means you deem appropriate.

(707) 786-5486, studio@khum.com

Two Hours To Midnight

2007-10-09T19:31:00.000-07:00

The photo above is from Society Pages No. 4, the pre-Interwebtubes periodical for the Zappa community by Rob Samler and Den Simms. It was taken by Larry Hulst. Those guys put a lot of work into that mag. That edition even had a letter to the editor from Mike Keneally!

The last song on this week's The South Side, preceding Zappa's Grubby Chamber, will be Johnny Guitar Watson's "Three Hours Past Midnight." (Thanks, Chas. With that kind of lead-in, I better continue the continuity!)

Frank really liked that song. No, he really liked it. You can fully hear Johnny's influence in Frank's guitar playing – the attack, articulation and other things that I, a non-guitar player, am surely not even aware of.

As I was writing that last bit, my friend Jay Davis sent me a link to a new (to me) streaming Zappa channel called Zappateers, and danged if they weren't playing just the kind of thing I was getting at – a 1979 bootleg of "Five-Five-FIVE" being played live in Manchester, UK., and another 1979 live version of "Treacherous Cretins," with extra-special Vinnie Colaiuta awesomeness, full-blown. Wow, this station is great – what an aroma!

So for the Oct. 19 Zappa's Grubby Chamber from 10 p.m. to midnight, let's follow Frank's guitaristics from his early, Johnny "Guitar" Watson-oriented underpinnings to his latter days as a full-on shredder. I don't intend for this to be another guitar show (which we've done before and will do again), but more about the rock. The rock and roll.

Update: Kill Ugly Radio has a post discussing Frank's rockitude. This could be grist for the show as well.

Contrast & Compare

2007-10-04T07:19:00.001-07:00

Photo by Mizuno from the "Playboy Interview," April, 1993

Frank's musical temperament was mercurial. Musically, he did what interested him, the result being the stunningly eclectic repertoire we now have to tap into, which makes possible a seemingly inexhaustible variety of conceptual continuities.

He had moods, too. Compare Frank's jovial mischief-making on the live Baby Snakes album with his more formalistic affect on Does Humor Belong in Music?

But it's musically that Frank's all over the map. So for the Oct. 5 Zappa's Grubby Chamber, let's contrast and compare various tokens of Frank's extreme. There's his complex, tightly arranged pieces, like the "Black Page," and his guttural rock, like say, "Rat Tomago." Wholesome-esque pop ditties like "Let Me Take You To The Beach," and naughty, naughty exercises like "Dinah-Moe Humm." Vocal-intensive pieces like the whole medley comprised of "Society Pages," "I'm A Beautiful Guy,"Beauty Knows No Pain," "Charlie's Enormous Mouth," "Any Downers?" and "Conehead" vs. purely instrumental bits like... well, there's so many. And how about Frank's R&B/doo-wop predilections, say Ruben & the Jets, vs. his classical tendencies, as with Boulez Conducts Zappa: The Perfect Stranger.

So, it's Contrast and Compare night on the next Zappa's Grubby Chamber. And in that spirit, let's consider that April '93 edition of Playboy.

Frank's interview started on page 55. Turn the page and what do you see? Chuck Norris for new Right Guard® Sport Stick.

Chuck believed that "The best defense is not to offend." It seems safe to say that Frank was not an adherent of that particular strategy.

And by the way,
what the fuck is up
with Chuck's left hand?

Chaos Theory

2007-09-24T14:20:00.000-07:00

Our friend Frank really liked to make stuff up. I mean, on the spot. Improvisational segments were built into every concert, and sometimes within songs.

Frank made his bands learn dozens and dozens of songs – some of 'em really hard, too – and jumbled the order around from night to night. On top of that, he introduced sheer chaos into the mix, which few to no other rock or even art rock bands would ever risk. Audience participation, dance contests, quiltmaking... Frank reveled in the danger! And it bore wonderful results.

He made himself improvise, too. Of course there were the guitar solos, so majestic in their architecture. And then there was the all-time masterpiece, "Jazz Discharge Party Hats." In real time, Frank musically related a funny story about his road crew, gilding it with his personal lamentations. Mr. Vai then added his brilliantly executed note-for-note guitar matching of the improv vocal (he scored it, too – see above) , and we have an all-time Zappa classic. Yet another completely original, genius-hilarious FZ piece that's nothing at all like anything he ever did before or since.

Compounding the absurdity was amazing Mike Keneally, who took it upon himself to learn both the vocal and guitar for "Jazz Discharge Party Hats" and play both at once in concerts.

So on the Sept. 28 Zappa's Grubby Chamber, let's find as many examples of this pehenomenon as we can, and play them, and be happy! Songs, that is, which include real-time chaos. "Jazz Discharge Party Hats" (both versions), "Dummy Up," "Be-Bop Tango," "Panty Rap, "Titties & Beer," lots of things in the You Can't Do That On Stage Any More series... what else?

Wholesome Family Entertainment

2007-09-19T18:23:00.000-07:00

Above is a tattered Sept. 24, 1971 LIFE magazine clipping brought unto me by an interested listener – thanks, interested listener! It's just as I remember it. Frank certainly looks svelte – and just think about the tunes that were stewing in his brain at the time. Not sure what the lead time was on his compositions, but it's possible that Grand Wazoo and even Apostrophe and Overnite Sensation material was being born.

All of which has nothing to do with the budget of the film, although it helps. No wait. What I meant, was, in honor of Frank's family values, let's play happy, wholesome, family-oriented FZ tunes on the Sept.21, 2007 Zappa's Grubby Chamber – yes, there are such things. To qualify, songs have to at least acknowledge the existence of relatives, or specific familial persons, places or things, naturally excluding tropical possessions.

"Motherly Love," "Uncle Bernie's Farm," "Mom & Dad" "Bow Tie Daddy" "The Idiot Bastard Son," "Lonely Little Girl," "Little House I Used to Live In," "My Guitar Wants to Kill Your Mama," "Little House I Used to Live In," "Daddy Daddy Daddy," "Son of Orange County," "San Ber'dino," Yo' Mama," "Joe's Garage," Teen-Age Wind," "Harder Than Your Husband," "Truck Driver Divorce," "Baby, Take Your Teeth Out," "Porn Wars" and possibly others. Call or write with suggestions Friday night.

I included Porn Wars because that's the song in which Sen. Paula Hawkins (R-Fla.) tried to snidely impugn Frank's parenthood – or maybe she was just reflecting the mass misperception of Frank as some sort of demented Ronald McDonald of the Nouveaux Abstruse who couldn't responsibly spawn and raise genetic artifacts:

Sen. Hawkins: I might be interested to see what toys your kids ever had

FZ: Why would you be interested?

Sen. Hawkins: Just as a point of interest in this ah...

Well, come on over to the house and I'll show them to you.
Really!

Sen. Hawkins: I, I might do that!

To the best of my knowledge, Paula never swang by to check out Frank's kids' toys. If only she woulda...

The Joy of Loaf

2007-09-13T09:35:00.001-07:00

San Francisco Chronicle, July 14, 1993

If you get Frank Zappa, you get loaf. No, your new smash-flop FZ album doesn't come with a gooey loaf center, except in the abstract sense.

Frank had an unerring sense of the absurd details that make life worth enduring. What other "rock star" would use Confinement Loaf as a garnish to his music? Only Frank, and we who love his music, would understand the relevance of loaf.

Zappa's music is multi-layered. It fully has the onion-skin art thing going on with it, and repeated listenings invariably yield fresh delights and insights. Sometimes, when I make promos for the show, I sample portions of his tunes. Often I'm taken by how complete the individual bits are – they're perfect compositions unto themselves, even though they weren't necessarily intended to be consumed as bite-sized lumps.

I'm thinking, for example, of that dazzling figure Frank deploys in "Honey, Don't You Want A Man Like Me?" after the line, "...the band was tight" at :28 to :32 . And what the hell is that thing at 1:03 to 1:05 in "Inca Roads?" Whatever it is, it's so very, very wrong, and simply wonderful.

And what about that "Go Hawaiian" lick (1:13 to 1:15 in "Drowning Witch," and other songs)? That thing, which I well remember from the original Donny and Marie Hawaiian Punch ads, was destined to become a Zappa hook, for way obvious reasons. Not only is it musically delightful, but the whole concept of "going Hawaiian" is so amazingly cheesy, well, it had to become a Frank fixture. Again, Frank finds the nuggets o' wonder in the mundane, and extrapolates them for his use.

But the wonderment can be even more subtle. As just one example, at 4:19 in "Andy," at the very end of one of the last drum-breakey parts, before it goes into the final tirade, there's what sounds like someone rapping a pang cymbal with their knuckle, and it's just the perfect touch. Who else would bother with such a thing?

On the Sept. 14 Zappa's Grubby Chamber, I'll play my favorite clever weirdnesses embedded in Frank's music – the odd corners and extra-special genius touches, which, along with the brilliant music and funny biznis, so distinguish FZ from the usual morass of meaninglessness that dominates popular culture.

ZPZ Berkeley 2007, Part 3

2007-09-04T21:24:00.001-07:00

It's been fun replicating the set list of the ZPZ concert for the past two shows, and we'll wrap it up Friday night. Dweezil's choices took us down some interesting conceptual byways, and allowed all kinds of interesting versioning!

Yes, we "assumed a wide stance." And speaking of poor, repressed Sen. Craig, "Brown Shoes Don't Make It," which we played last week, includes this passage, ripped from today's headlines:

A world of secret hungers

Perverting the men who make your laws

Every desire is hidden away...

This week's graphic is of two artifacts from the concert. The panties which Dweezil signed for me, thus ensuring that they'll never be worn (or washed), and the matching pick he gave me, which says, "Gary Coleman" for reasons unclear.

That's it! See you on the radio this Friday.

ZPZ Berkeley 2007, Part 2

2007-08-29T17:48:00.000-07:00

Dweezil Zappa and Zappa's Grubby Chamber host Kevin Hoover at the Aug. 20, 2007 Zappa Plays Zappa/Tour de Frank show at the Berkeley Community Theatre. Photo by Ron Antaki

As Frank Zappa fans, ours is sometimes a lonely lot. Oh sure, these days we can connect with the virtual FZ community online, but that hasn't always been the case. And, day to day, unless you are fortunate enough to live in an area that has an uncommonly high statistical density of Frank fans, as I do, it can be disheartening. After all, most commercial music is, and probably always has been, unredeeming sludge. At least it used to be human-crafted sludge, but now, with all the frightening little tools science has made available, it's largely machine-generated dreck designed pursuant to the dictates of today's bold new breed of entertainment executives.

And so it was with considerable gratification that I observed clumps of Zappa fans headed toward the Berkeley Community Theatre Monday night, Aug. 20. Frank diaspora from all over Northern California converged on the site, and it was quite heartening to behold.

I was hoping, actually expecting to see some of my old friends with whom I used to attend Zappa concerts. But it was not to be. Either they weren't there, or we've all become so decrepit that we didn't recognize each other. That worked out OK, though, as I did meet up with some new friends at the show. And there was one person I knew – Dimitrius, a former Arcata Post Office employee who brought good music to that facility and with whom I could discuss matters Frank.

I also noticed many obvious parent/child attendees. I assume these resulted from the parents saying, "Now you'll see why I listen to this music all the time..." and dragging the kid along.

On with the show. As the theatre slowly filled, I cruised the stage to check out the setup. Lots of guitars, and Joe's drum set looked like a castle of drums, so ripe with potential. Cymbals on drum sets at major concerts always look so impossibly shiny.

Eventually Dweezil and the band came out. His stage presence is a lot different than Frank's. Dweezil is much more low-key, even when delivering the trademark Zappa wit. A guy yelled out, "ZAPPA!" To which Dweezil deftly replied, "Yes, it's a Zappa show. You're in the right auditorium." That went over well.

The softspokenness continued through the show. At one point Dweezil introduced a song – sorry, can't remember which one – by saying, "Now we're going to play this song."

It's not that he was uncommunicative. When someone called out for "Watermelon In Easter Hay," Dweezil explained that that song was "too close to the surface." He said that attempting to perform it "would probably make my head explode," but that maybe someday it will be possible. That's interesting. While Watermelon didn't come about during Frank's final years, I can easily see how, given the emotional nature of the song, it could well be emotionally trying for Dweez to play those particularly poignant notes and channel Frank on it.

Summarizing the Dweezil stage-affect situation, my sense is that he is filled with reverence and appreciation for his father's music and doesn't wish to intrude himself too much into it. In any case, he's totally natural on stage, and the music certainly says just about all that needs to be said. And he was quite voluble during the improv song, "Don't Let the Raccoon Scratch Your Face."

All in all the band performed some 22 songs (see Part 1). We've all been to concerts that left us feeling shortchanged by the short length, or lack of effort/energy. Not this time. The music was passionately performed, fully involving and went on nearly three hours. I clocked it at roughly two hours and 45 minutes.

Following the splendidly fulfilling show, people began to filter out of the auditorium. That seemed like an odd choice, since some of the musicians could be seen lingering at the frnt of the stage, talking to attendees. But, people do have to go home and pay babysitters.

I went ahead and wound my way through the exiting crowd, down to the stage. I reached it as Joe Travers was waving bye-bye, but Dweezil himself was there, chatting with fans and signing everything handed to him.

It was very pleasant, commiserating with Dweezil. he was in no hurry, very relaxed and open to conversation. At first, a few dozen fans pressed against the stage, offering praise, suggestions, or just watching.

I told him that I do a Zappa radio show in Humboldt County and asked him to consider being on it. He said maybe he would. I'm sure lots of people ask him for things (a guy next to me asked to be in the band) and he obviously can't agree to everything requested of him.

But here's a weird one. I told him the show is called "Zappa's Grubby Chamber," and he wasn't aware of the term! But, but, but... He stood there above me, signing someone's t-shirt on his knee, shook his head and said, "I don't know what that is..." He's never see the hunk o' plaster in the Utility Muffin Research Kitchen?

Meanwhile, I encouraged him to take the music and make it his. It wasn't the first time he's heard it. He said, in so many words, that people suggest often that, but that he wouldn't feel right altering Frank's versions.

Here we have a basic philosophical dilemma. For any given song, does one select one of Frank's interpretations and replicate that, or do you do what Frank himself would have done – use those songs as starting points for reinterpretation? Dweezil has obviously chosen the former, feels very strongly about it and carries that method out very well. He did say that he hopes to tour with ZPZ annually. I have to think that eventually, he'll feel comfortable with bringing forth his own twists on the tunes.

I also suggested he do some of his music, but again, he said something to the effect that he wouldn't dream of inserting his songs into the Frank-music mix. Personally, I've always liked Dweezil's music, from "My Mother Is a Space Cadet" up to "Automatic." I particularly enjoy "Shampoohorn" and "Music for Pets." I know some Frank fans hold Dweeztunes in lesser regard, but after this show, I think it's fairly incontestable that he gets FZ music as much as anyone and is capable of his own greatness.

He said the band now knows 70 or so songs. I'm sure they know them well, too – just like Frank's band. But you know what? I personally think that this band actually comes together better than some of the units Frank had in the early 1980s. That's not saying anything about the talents of any individual musicians, just the the coherence of the band as a unit.

Dweezil was nice enough to sign all the swag I'd bought in the lobby – the tour book, hat, pink panties and ticket. Between autographs, Dweez knelt at the edge of the stage to be in cell phone pictures with some of us, including the doughy specimen depicted here. Then what would happen is that the fans would have to exchange e-mail addresses and business cards in order to convey the pictures to each other later.

Photo by Ron Antaki

At one point, I heard someone behind me saying, "Is Kevin here?" I turned around and said, "I'm Kevin." It turned out to be Ron Antaki, a guy who sends me cryptic e-mail messages of Zappa appreciation during the ZGC radio shows (at studio@khum.com). He was real nice and took a bunch of pics on his RazR. I also met Yusef Malenky, who took a pic on his phone that I haven't seen yet. And another guy right next to me turned out to be Steve Bruhn from McKinleyville, right next to Arcata.

Eventually, everything had been signed and said, the crowd dwindled and Dweezil took his leave. The fans left towards cars and BART, chatting. I went up to some guys in Zappa regalia at the BART station and asked them what they thought of the concert, and they turned out to be listeners to the radio show too – at least when they're in Humboldt County!

On the way home to Humboldt a few days later, I hung a right off the freeway in Petaluma and went to Lagunitas Brewing Co., home of the Zappa-branded beers. Tony Magee kindly interrupted a meeting he was in to come out and meet me and have his pic taken. Then he gave me a case of Kill Ugly Radio beer! So that was certainly worth the side trip.

Tony Magee of Lagunitas Brewing Co. Photo by KLH

So, all in all, I attended a wonderful Zappa show at one of the same places I used to do that, got to meet and converse somewhat substantively with Dweezil, met a bunch of cool fans and got some free beer! I'd say it was a productive trip. You know, I still feel the happy glow from that concert.

Oh, and I got weeks worth of radio show and blog ideas out of it, too. So on the Aug. 31 Zappa's Grubby Chamber, I'll pick up with the ZPZ set list where we left off last week. What with all the versioning (which people tell me they enjoy as much as I do), we only made it through the first six songs. We'll pick up with Suzy Creamcheese, and see how far we can get.

Keep those calls and e-mails coming, folks, and don't forget to comment right here.

ZPZ Berkeley 2007, Part 1

2007-08-23T07:45:00.000-07:00

My ticket and tour book, autographed by Dweezil.

Monday, August 20, I attended the Zappa Plays Zappa/Tour De Frank show at the Berkeley Community Theatre. Here are my impressions and experiences.

To do this properly, I have to separate it into two parts, maybe three: First, the core experience, the music. Then, aftermath and commentary.

The Music

These are the songs the band performed, in the order they played them.

The Dog Breath Variations: If there was any doubt that this eight-piece orchestra could bring off a Frank composition not just adequately, but with flair and spirit, the opening song banished it. They captured every incidental delight and nuance of this classic tune, and it was utterly fascinating to behold.

City of Tiny Lights: Featuring Ray White. What more could you want?

Advance Romance: A colossal, sprawling and spirited treatment.

Dumb All Over: Featuring Frank on vocals, projected on the screen in back of the band. Immaculately synchronized and completely riveting.

What's New In Baltimore: Dweezil mentioned the recent "Frank Zappa Day" in Baltimore, and said that the only thing better would be if they make it an annual event.

Carolina Hard Core Ecstacy: Always one of my favorites, and a cordial powerhouse of a song.

Suzy Creamcheese/Brown Shoes Don't Make It/America Drinks & Goes Home: Dweezil dedicated this to the fans who have been with Frank since the days of Freak Out! and Absolutely Free. And during "America Drinks," Gail Zappa made an appearance as The Waitress!

Pygmy Twylyte: The epic version, as performed on YCDTOSA Vol. II, The Helsinki Concert. I just played this last week on the show. Another consummate rendering.

Dupree's Paradise: A vehicle for the band to show off their individual talents. As each took their turn, fragments of other Frank songs were inserted as backing vehicles. I heard "Packard Goose" in there, among other tunes. All were A+. I must say, Jamie Kime's guitar solo was a truly jarring and innovative standout, in the best Frank tradition. Joe Travers, you are extraordinary.

Don't Let the Raccoon Scratch Your Face: Dweezil asked the audience for words to be used as the basis for an improv. (He also suggested the possibility of a dance contest on stage, but that was not to be.) I couldn't ear what was yelled out, but Dweezil said it was nonsense words, so he suggested "Don't let the raccoon scratch your face." And with that, the band launched into a bluesy, very Zappaesque piece with Ray inventing a scenario around the phrase. It was great to see them be spontaneous and take risks, as that's what Frank was all about.

Uncle Remus: Lots of people sang along, me included.

Willie the Pimp: Again, a song I played last week on the show in response to a street musician's comments.

Joe's Garage: A warm, sentimental song. This included the only flub of the night, though other attendees I talked to didn't catch it and I wonder if I was hallucinating. At one point, if I remember correctly, as Ray sang the sixth verse, (People seemed to like our song...), about midway through Dweezil cut in with the following verse, sort of singing over Ray and advancing the song ahead to that point. Ray looked surprised, and gave sort of a "What I do wrong?" look, but the song concluded without further incident. Like I said, others didn't notice this, so I don't know. And in the grand scheme of things, who gives a fuck, anyway?

Wind Up Working In A Gas Station: Another fave of mine, brought off in perky fashion.

San Ber'dino: Joyous, full of musicality.

The Illinois Enema Bandit: Featuring Ray White! Dweezil's solo started subtly, just like Frank's did, and built up to cataclysmic proportions.

Wild Love: I've always loved this song for its mixture of insight into human sexual ritual behavor and musical complexity, which is sheer Frankness. Impeccable without being careful or academic in any way.

Yo' Mama: As excellent as the concert had been up to this point, the entire experience (and, it seemed, the Berkeley Community Theatre itself) was elevated onto another plane with this song. (Song – what a trivial word to describe this soulful expression.)

I've never dwelt much on Yo' Mama. I like it, but I realize now that I haven't appreciated it. As you know, it's not fast; there's no tinkertoy discursions or huge jokes to distinguish it.

But during that atmospheric portion when Frank/Dweezil goes off on guitar against a rich harmonic backdrop... ladies and gentlemen, it became a spiritual experience. Dweezil's guitar spoke like a voice – Frank's voice. Our voice.

I felt tears welling up in my eyes, and even the memory of it makes me feel a piquant mixture of beauty/love/sadness/eternity that's all mixed up with appreciation of the Zappa ethos as conveyed by Frank, and now, so masterfully, by Dweezil. I'll never hear that song the same way again.

Cosmick Debris: Featuring Frank from 1973 on guitar. Another amazing display of synchronization. And, 30-plus years later, Frank shreds with the best of today's guitar gymnasts, but of course with the benefit of the sheer intelligence that runs through everything he did. There's that one point in this solo - people who saw the show will know what I'm talking about - when Frank just seizes the guitar and wrings a petulant frenzy of naughty notes out of it. What the hell was that?

G-Spot Tornado: Unbelievable. Who needs computers to make impossible music? This thing was a multi-level tour de Frank-force brought off with a power and precision that was simply breathtaking.

Muffin Man: A great way to end the show, with the guttural graunch of a beloved Zappa classic that rocked beyond all reason.

On the August 24, 2007 Zappa's Grubby Chamber, we'll replicate the set list with the versions of the songs Dweezil and the band played. Feel free to call or e me with your comments, especially any reviews from the Berkeley or other shows.

ZPZ Berkeley, August 20, 2007

2007-08-21T01:19:00.000-07:00

My brain is swimming with the elegant, ferocious, soaring, profane, powerful and lovingly executed Frank Zappa music I heard tonight.

It was quite an experience.

I met Dweezil after the show. He was very generous with his time, sharing thoughts with fans and discussing his approach to the music.

I also met no less than four people who listen to Zappa's Grubby Chamber! I'm really inspired, and have all sorts of new ideas for the show.

After putting out the newspaper last night, then driving down here and seeing the concert, my brain needs down time to process everything.

More later.

Conventional Wisdom/Indigenous Soul

2007-08-15T16:18:00.000-07:00

Indigenous Soul: Daryl, some guy who wanted to be in the pic and his doomed kitten, and Jay.

Unlike populist rabble-rousers, I've never been one to venerate the supposed collective intelligence of "the people." I mean, look at some of the political decisions that vaunted fount of wisdom, "we the people" have made lately.

Being in the news business, I all too painfully know how ill-informed people generally are, and how low their threshold is for accepting rumor and folklore as fact. Essentially, people believe what they want to believe regardless of the factual information available to them. They cherry-pick fact-fragments that reinforce their pre-existing views. That's how it is and how it's always going to be.

As you know, popular perceptions of Frank Zappa are laden with misinformation, fueled to a great extent by media weasels like myself. I'd go so far as to say that there has probably never been a more misunderstood popular musician.

And yet, I don't see what's so hard to understand about him at all. Frank seems like a logical, extremely intelligent person who happened to be unfettered by the illusions and false assumptions that keep most of us from realizing our potential. No wonder he confuses "the people."

The mythology persists. I've had people tell me they smoked big fat doobies with Frank, and worse. I'm not going to repeat some of the more pernicious memes, and if I ever read the description of Frank as "Rock's Rasputin" again, I'm going to have a major white-guy hissyfit and throw the magazine across the room, scaring my old cat.

This past week I went out on the streets of Arcata asking people – mostly street people – what they know or think they know about Frank. What I got was a heady mix of genuine insight and fairly appalling misinformation, plus some funny moments.

I recorded it all, and will play some of the clips on the August 17 show. One is an interview with a couple of guys named Jay and Daryl who have a musical unit of sorts called "Indigenous Soul." They even performed a song for me, called "Kelly." It was, to plug in some lame-ass music critic terminology here, an acoustic/rap fusion featuring Jay on guitar and Daryl on mouth percussion and attempted harmonies.

Was their song Zappa-influenced? I'd say yes, in that Frank stretched boundaries and made imagination permissible, so while "Kelly" wouldn't have been something Frank came up with, it's not inconceivable that it wouldn't exist in the same form without Zappa having done what he did. Anyway, you can decide Friday night when I play the song.

Apart from Indigenous Soul, there were some other folks with remarkable insights and whatever the opposite of that is. Suffice to say that among us walk many people who have a working knowledge of Frank, and can name several of his songs/albums/musicians/slogans.

We are not alone.

What's New in Baltimore?

2007-08-10T13:00:00.000-07:00

Well, among other things, Thursday was Frank Zappa Day there.

Apparently the mayor read a proclamation at the ZPZ show:

The Mayor’s proclamation, to be presented at the concert reads, in part, “The City of Baltimore is proud of its rich musical heritage, and is honored to claim the prolific composer, musician, author, and film director Frank Zappa as a native of our fair city; and

WHEREAS, Frank Zappa’s artistry involved many musical genres, including rock, jazz, electronic, and symphonic music, and his lasting impact has left an indelible mark on the art and all those who attempt to follow in his footsteps; and

WHEREAS, Frank Zappa has received world-wide recognition for his talents and innovation and defense of the First Amendment of the Bill of Rights of the Constitution of the United States of America; and

WHEREAS, representing the Zappa Family, Dweezil Zappa is here today to embody his father’s music and legacy on stage for the first time in Baltimore, making this an appropriate day to honor Frank Zappa’s memory and his many great accomplishments.”

Dweezil’s self-imposed mission is to bring Frank Zappa’s music back to the live concert stage, explaining, “I think my Dad's music deserves to be heard by a wider audience. I really think he's been misunderstood for far too long, which brings me back to why I'm doing this: I'm so in awe of his accomplishments and want more and more people to know about him, and I think the best way for people to first discover his music is on a visceral level in a live situation. I think you have to be confronted with the complexity and the beautiful subtlety of all of it to fully appreciate the artistry of it."

http://www.antimusic.com/news/07/aug/0908.shtml

What I want to know is, why does our mainstream culture only appreciate greatness like Frank's posthumously?

Back to Berkeley

2007-08-09T08:24:00.000-07:00

Got my tickets yesterday for Zappa Plays Zappa at the Berkeley Community Theatre August 20. It'll be great to go to a Zappa show there again. The last time was 1981.

I saw the "Call Any Vegetable" video on the ZPZ website. It's a surprising choice, that they replicate the Just Another Band From L.A. rendition of the song, right down to the accidental nuances of Flo & Eddie's vocal performances from long, long ago.

I do hope that the show isn't solely in "tribute" mode, re-doing all the songs as though they were frozen in time. Frank never did that – he changed songs around massively from tour to tour and night to night. Surely Dweezil is cognizant of that, and I hope the band injects some originality and spontaneity into the show.

Back in 1988, as Frank and the Most Unhappy Band You Never Heard In Your Life were touring, Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin and Sammy Davis, Jr. (later joined by Liza Minelli) did their "Rat Pack" tour. I'm a lot more tolerant now, but still, that type of music and their whole culture is anathema to me.

But what I really hated about that type of concert event was that it was just a Greatest Hits exhibition – a smirking run-through of past glories. Not that there's anything wrong with it, I suppose, when you're dealing with lounge music. But with Frank's repertoire, I'd not even consider approaching it that way, and neither would Frank.

That said, I'm going to go with an open mind. Even if they do ultra-familiar versions, it'll still be the best FZ tribute band ever.

So, for the Aug. 10 Zappa's Grubby Chamber, I'll play radically different versions of FZ songs – ones that Frank morphed massively between studio and live performance, including "Call Any Vegetable," "Tell Me You Love Me," "Trouble Every Day," "Zoot Allures" and whatever you, today's concerned Frank Zappa fan, might suggest.

Zappa's Drummers

2007-08-01T09:27:00.001-07:00

No, I wasn't one. But I played one back in "the day." (Please don't ask what day that was – suffice to say that this shot was taken when I was 18, and the U.S. was still making moon landings.)

For a drummer, Zappa music is SO fun to play along with. I'd pop on the headphones, put my scratchy copy of Just Another Band From L.A. on and emulate Aynsley Dunbar's parts for 20 minutes. To this day, that album and many others are embedded in my muscle memory (I know, I know, there's no such thing, but whatever).

At the time, it just didn't seem like there could be anyone better than Aynsley. But as we know, Frank's music has a way of bringing out the best of whatever great musicians he has in the band at the time, reflecting their talents and musical character. So when Ralph Humphrey, then Chester Thompson came along, it didn't seem like anyone else could fit the music better.

I remember attending my first Zappa concert and seeing Ralph and Chester together, and it bent my brain. Some musicians are inspired by phenomenal demonstrations of musical prowess. Me, I was just intimidated. That's probably why I never ascended into the professional realm. (I did do a couple of things with my bands, Think Tank and the Trilobites, that I'm not ashamed of. Maybe I'll post samples someday.)

Then came the Terry Bozzio era, and all bets were off. The guy was explosive beyond belief. Again Frank had located a huge talent and given him a platform to excel. Can you really imagine anyone else playing on Sheik Yerbouti?

Then, the eight-armed polyrhythmic monster Vinnie Colaiuta took the drummer's throne, and yet another new dimension in drumming was at hand. While I love all the Frank drummers, if I had to pick just one, it would be Vinnie. That guy... There's an in-the-moment immediacy to his playing that's just unrivaled. In my booklet, anyway. As he walked to his car after one of the Santa Monica shows featured on Tinseltown Rebellion, I stupidly asked Vinnie how he could play with such polyrhythmic complexity, as if there could be any answer to that besides talent and lots of practice. He was nice, and said something along the lines of, "I just do it."

To me, David Logeman was the first break in the ascending curve of drummer awesomeness. It's not that he isn't a great drummer; after all, he was able to play Frank's music. But no, he wasn't a Terry or Vinnie. I heard at the time that Frank had trouble locating a drummer for the 1980 tour (if I had time to do research, I'm sure I'd turn up details). I heard that David was the 54th one to audition. When Mike Keneally was in Arcata one time, I mentioned to him that David's performances were "workmanlike," and Mike immediately agreed with this characterization, repeating the term. I remember one show when David made a slight but discernible mistake on the complicated middle part of "Jumbo, Go Away," and Frank abruptly stopped the show, saying, "Logeman, that's inexcusable!" and making the band start over. (It wasn't as cordial as when he did that with Chester on "Montana" on YCDTOSA Vol. II. I guess he went on the play with Jan & Dean?!? Finally, I went to Disney's California Adventure a few years ago and there at the entrance was David and his Surf City All-Stars on a portable stage. They had a little thing where David took a drum out amid the spectators and had them attempt to play the solo on "Wipeout." Of course it was cute to see kids have a moment in the sun as a drummer, and yeah, OK, I stepped forward and gave it a try. After the fun, I mentioned to David that "That was easier than playing 'Charlie's Enormous Mouth,'" and he looked slightly startled that anyone would remember that song. I wanted to talk to him more, but he and the band were subsequently towed away, still playing on the portable stage, behind a big gate and I never got the opportunity.

Finally came the Chad Wackerman era. At first I wasn't that impressed with Chad. I thought he was kind of Logeman-perfunctory and stiff with the parts, and his drum sound seemed thin, with a "papery" snare drum. But he evolved mightily, and approached Vinnie-ish levels on The Best Band You Never Heard in Your Life. His drums sounded really great on that album, too.

As for Jimmy Carl Black, well, all I can say is that his work never inspired me very much. I don't think he was very happy playing things outside the blues/bar band envelope. And I didn't like the things he said about Frank when he was in the Grandmothers. I went and saw them at a club in Hayward, Calif. on Halloween, 1981, the same night that Frank was on MTV. The Grandmothers liked to say that Frank had ripped off their ideas and wouldn't let them play to their fullest potential, and yet, all they did was play carbon copies of things that were on Uncle Meat, etc., the way Frank had arranged them.

I had the opportunity to interview and do a newspaper story on Arthur Trip in the early 1990s. he was a chiropractor in McKinleyville, Calif., at the time. He'd given up drums and percussion, and has now moved on.

So, for the Aug. 3 Zappa's Grubby Chamber, I'll focus on some of the great drumming and drummers on Frank Zappa music. Feel free as always to send in any relevant requests. And if you have any awesome insights, call in and we'll talk about it one the air.

Frank: The Beer

2007-07-26T17:47:00.000-07:00

WORLD EXCLUSIVE OR WHATEVER!

ZAPPA-FLAVORED BEER NOW AVAILABLE!
WHY AM I SHOUTING LIKE THIS?!?

Take a diehard Zappa fan, add ownership of a brewery and what do you get? The above – Freak Out! Ale. And it really exists! No fooling.

But wait, there's more:

Now how much would you pay? (Hint: $2.99 to $3.99.)

Tony Magee of Lagunitas Brewing Company is responsible for the above potables, which you can actually buy and guzzle. Er, savor, that is.

Such commitment. And it gets better. Tony and Lagunitas plan to issue a commemorative beer for every official Zappa album, 40 years after their initial release – the next one after Kill Ugly Radio Ale will be Lumpy Gravy. That should look pretty appealing next to the Pabst Blue Ribbon on the supermarket cooler shelf.

And in fact, this is mostly about the album cover labels – a bubbly valentine for Frank fans, according to Tony. "The label sells itself," he says. "I just want the label to be out there in the world." And so it is!

For Freak Out! Ale, Tony put a lot of effort into the recipe – probably more than was necessary – which inspired many reviews and commentary. So for Kill Ugly Radio Ale (which should make Barry kinda happy), Tony simply went with good beer: "A big, really fresh-hopped pale ale," as he describes it. What more could a Frank fan want? (Well, come to think of it, maybe two things. See if you can guess what they are.)

Naturally, this wouldn't be possible without the Zappa family's consent. But Tony said Mrs. Z and the fam embraced the idea, and even had him over to their home! There, he met Gail, Dweezil (yes, that Dweezil) and Vaultmeister Joe Travers (arguably the world's most insanely amazing drummer – at least I've never seen anyone play like that).

So that's what you have to do to make the pilgrimage to Zappa Ground Zero - invent Frankworthy beer. But damn, it's been done.

For his next project, Tony is working on a whole line of Suzi Quatro-flavored beers. There's Stumblin' In Ale, Daytona Demon Pilsner... OK, I made that up. But the Zappa beer is real.

So, to tell us all about Lagunitas Brewing Company's Zappa-flavored beers, none other than Tony Magee himself will be my guest on Zappa's Grubby Chamber, Friday, June 27 at 10:30 p.m. Pacific time.

Meanwhile, how many Frank songs so much as mention beer? Two come to mind... I won't say which... tune in...

Arf.

Frank 'n' Me

2007-07-19T20:31:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time... it wasn't in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Fremont, California, actually, where I and my colleagues made many cocaine decisions. I'm not bragging.

That was also where I once received a personal missive from a Mr. Zappa. Naturally it blew me away. I had done two disconnected things, and with his computer brain, he made the connection, tracked me down and sent me the nice letter above.

First, after a show, I handed Frank some Zappa bucks. (Maybe seeing his Overnite Sensation/"I'm the Slime" visage in the presidential oval inspired Frank's later presidential aspirations?)

Second, I sent him a photo of me standing next to a fantastic, custom-made foamcore Tinseltown Rebellion display from the tape cassette store I managed at the time. I'd written my address on the back, and someone later told me the picture was posted on the wall in his manager Bennett Glotzer's office.

So, at some point within the Zappa organization, Frank seems to have inquired about that guy in that picture with the TR display (me), who also gave him a Zappa buck, and do we have his address? And I get a letter in the mail.

There was a period in the late 1970s and into the 1980s when Frank would nod in greeting when he spotted me in and around concerts. Sometimes I think about how my existence was actually encoded in Frank Zappa's brain! Not bad for a Northern Californian, since he refers to our kind as "hot tub dipshits!"

Oh, did I mention that the next Zappa's Grubby Chamber show is on Friday, July 27? The July 20 show is pre-empted by Relay For Life, though I hear there will be at least some Zappa triage for the needy between 10 p.m. and midnight.

But to truly quench those Zappa thirsts, tune in July 27, for something really special.

A bwahaha may be in order here, along with a grand mooo-aaaahhh.

Frank speaks

2007-07-12T07:51:00.000-07:00

Yes, another LP. Know how hard it is to take a pic of a vinyl record without your reflection showing up in it?

Funny how in the olden days we had to have big, dumb pieces of plastic to convey sound info. But it made for some nice picture discs.

Frank was, as we know, one of the more articulate and voluble "rock stars." And he had actual things to say. I have tons of old interviews with him; clippings from various mags and newspapers, fanzines, etc.

One thing I'm sort of saving for the future is the big interview Eric and I did with Frank in Sacramento. It's hard for me to listen to these days, as it was the first time I'd met Frank and I was very nervous. But one of these weeks I'll get around to playing it.

So, I have no idea what's on the above record, but I'll play it on the July 13, 2007 Zappa's Grubby Chamber. Plus some spiffy tunes and who knows what else.

Feel free to e-mail and call during the show. Listener input always takes the show in interesting and unexpected directions.

Zapped

2007-07-05T09:02:00.000-07:00

There's no special significance to, or theme associated with, this week's pic – it's just another dreg from the archives.

Seems the execs back in 1970 wanted to milk the nascent FZ legend, so they issued this compilation LP of Frank-friendly acts like Alice Cooper, The GTOs and Wild Man Fischer. (Whatever happened to Judy Henske and Jerry Yester, anyway? Maybe they're worth a whole theme show!)

There's a relatively hi-res shot of the back cover below. Sorry if it makes the page slow to load.

Reading the liner notes, I'm kind of curious, so I guess I'll dust off KHUM's "record player" for the July 6 show and play some of these tunes.

I get the feeling from this album that the Warner Bros silk-jacket weasel brigades were already eyeing Frank as a possible Ronald McDonald of the Noveau Abstruse. That is, working with their "media partners" (the worst kind of sleaze) to package Frank as some sort of kooky-cute eccentric leading a coterie of weirdos like Capt. Beefheart and Lord Buckley who might make a coupla bucks who knows? This won't take long...

Funny how the front cover says "Zapped" while the back (and the label on the record) says "Zappéd." Musta been a miscommunication as the execs hovered over the mirror in the toilet stall at HQ. They probably got sidetracked talking about Acapulco, where all their friends go.

But never mind all that. For the next show, I'm not even going to try to call Jay Brown of the Arcata Muffler Brain Police. Nope, we've given up on that. Instead, Jay's going to be in the studio, and I'll interview him there, have him tell the legend and lore of the AMBP and play some of his fave FZ tunes. I think that'll include some '60s material, which is good because I don't play enough of the early years.

And in coming weeks I'd love to hear from and interview more FZ fans. What turned you on to Frank. What do you find most piquant about him and his music? Ever meet him? Got any stories? Call, write...

And speaking of that, thanks for all the e-mails and calls, folks. Again, do consider diverting some of that communication to the blog, so everyone will know.

Zappa Live

2007-06-27T16:55:00.002-07:00

I recall an interviewer once asking Frank which he preferred – recording or playing live. Paraphrasing his answer, Frank said that while he had fun in the studio, it was live performance that he really liked. He has said that he very much enjoyed making the instant compositions of his guitar solos, and as we know, Frank was always one to interact with the audience on a very risky and spontaneous scale few other artists would attempt.

And yet at times Frank spoke almost disparagingly of touring, talking about playing "Muffin Man" over and over just to pay for his Synclavier explorations and symphonic events. I didn't necessarily like that characterization of the live shows being something mildly mercenary and a means to a different end. I thought that was our communion time with Frank. But maybe I read it wrong.

I go back and forth. When I hear some genius studio song (as one example, anything off "One Size Fits All"), I think that's best. But when I hear the guitar solo on "Pick Me, I'm Clean," or "Any Kind of Pain," I think that's the best. Call it situational ethics. Hey, it's all Frank; it's all good.

Frank's shows were mindbending in terms of the musicianship he and the boys would perpetrate, but also for the surprises – fresh interpretations of old material, plus new affronts. I heard "Broken Hearts Are For Assholes" for the first time at Stanford on Nov. 19, 1977, and Bozzio's impossibly brilliant drum solo that night. People were walking out of Maples Pavilion in a daze, and not all of them had utilized dope-fiend devices at the show.

Because the most amazing thing about Zappa shows was the way he took control of the situation. From the first notes, or even before them, you knew you were in Zappa's weird but perfectly internally logical space. It was a fun place to be. Sometimes, in the last few minutes before the show, his unmistakable guitar would peal off a flurry of naughty notes from backstage over the pre-show music as he tested the PA out. You might even hear a the chords of "Louie, Louie." It always got a rise of excited recognition from the audience. Then Frank would come onstage, redefine reality and you were off to the races.

One of the tunes that smothers me in Zappatude is "Variations on Sinister #3" on disc 2 of Guitar. I might have my guitar genius friend Mike McLaren explain to me what that bizarre harmonic climate is all about, the scales Frank is using, etc. All I know is that it's disturbing and embracing all at once – everything we love about Frank. It's its own reality, and it makes perfect sense.

So, I'll go ahead and play exclusively live material on the June 29, 2007 Zappa's Grubby Chamber. Just for fun. I'll also try and do the Jay Brown interview that was techno-stymied last week.

The Arcata Muffler Brain Police

2007-06-21T15:29:00.000-07:00

Well, I guess we can now answer Frank's question, "Who are the Brain Police?" They were the softball team for Arcata Muffler, circa 1976-80. So maybe we shouldn't worry so much.

No, on second thought, let's keep worrying. I suspect that these aren't the only Brain Police. And the others probably don't spend much time on softball.

I must say, just the term, "The Arcata Muffler Brain Police," is worth a blog post in and of itself. I'll bet Frank would have appreciated the internal oxymoronicality of it all. The muffler orientation sort of de-diabolicalizes the whole concept of brain police.

In the halcyon pre-Interwebs days, it used to be a big deal when you met up with a fellow Frank fan. I remember when I met a guy named Mike Bisordi in U.S. Air Force basic training. I think he was from New Hampshire. At night, when the other guys in the barracks went through their Cheech and Chong routines, we'd recite "Billy the Mountain," inducing ennui and puzzlement in our brothers-in-arms, or brothers-in-underwear as they were.

Of course, nowadays Frank fans can readily network online, so we aren't lone voices in the wilderness. And yet, it's still special when you happen upon someone in everyday life who "gets" Frank.

One such soul is Jay Brown, who I sort of know. He's an Arcata artist, and when I passed him in the hallway the other day he congratulated me for having the Zappa show on KHUM. It turns out that he's a fan, too. He's the one standing with his arms folded, third from the right in the back row of the AMBP team photo. And he drew the team logo, below.Jay says the other guys on the AMBP team sort of appreciated the concept, but didn't care about it all that much.

Anyway, on the June 22 Zappa's Grubby Chamber, I'll play whatever fits the mood until about 10:30 p.m., and then we'll have Jay on via phone to talk Frank. He can better relate the whole AMBP thing, and we'll play some of his fave FZ songs.

I want to start doing this more often - probing the minds of Frank Zappa fans live on the show. Let's call them Friends of Frank.

So, dial up KHUM Friday, June 22 at 10:30 p.m. Pacific time, and learn all there is to know about the Arcata Muffler Brain Police.

Strictly Commercial

2007-06-14T06:18:00.002-07:00

First, howdy to anyone who wandered over from Kill Ugly Radio, a wonderfully well-evolved FZ blog and a great resource.

Last week's "Least-Loved Frank" show inspired the most feedback from listeners ever. There seems to be some general, though not universal, sense that some parts of "200 Motels," "Joe's Garage" and "Thing-Fish" lack the statistical density of wonderment usually found in Frank music. Between what I had planned and the listener suggestions, I didn't even get to all the least-loved songs. So that's grist for a future show.

This week, though, let's play some commercially acceptable music. Frank often came up with charming little ditties which might have been "hits" had there been any logic or justice in the radioscape. But no.

The graphics above are samples from the "Ship Arriving Too Late To Save A Drowning Witch" press kit (click to enlarge). I love that big, boxed disclaimer at the top of the Buyways thing: "...personally written by FRANK ZAPPA whose unique humor we hope you enjoy." Translation: "The crazy man did this. Don't blame us. He's trying to be funny, but never mind, just buy the damn album." You can almost see the silk-jacket weasel record company executives scurrying for cover.

I also like Bennett Glotzer's appeal to radio programmers to "consider all other cuts." Oh right, I'm sure "I Come From Nowhere" got a lot of airplay amid the Olivia Newton-John and INXS or whatever was being foisted at the time.

So, for the next ZGC, we'll go for the gold, and play lots of Frank Zappa "hits" that never were. For the Least-Loved show, I played "Valley Girl," and since I can't stand to play that more than once a month or so, that's out. But I will play other catchy toe-tappers, like "No Not Now," "Be In My Video," "Daddy, Daddy, Daddy," "Status Back Baby," "Dancin' Fool" and more.

Any ideas? (707) 786-5486 or studio@khum.com. Or you could post a reply here, of course!

Arf.

Least-Loved Frank

2007-06-06T21:04:00.000-07:00

Isn't that the most craptastic Zappa illustration you ever saw? Frank and various forms of aquatic life – what a concept. It's from an old Guitar World magazine that Digital Dan stuck up on the wall at KHUM. The other side is a Limp Bizkit poster. (I'm standing by for the take-down notice from GW.)

That poster symbolizes a show concept I've had in the back of my mind since starting Zappa's Grubby Chamber – the FZ music I don't really like very much.

My enthusiasm for FZ music is not unalloyed. There are iterations of Frank that are singularly unappealing – songs of his that are dull and annoying, at least to my ears. That doesn't mean they may not be as great as the stuff I do like. Since he didn't waste his time, I'm sure Frank had his reasons. Apparently my brain just isn't wired to appreciate these particular tunes. I don't get 'em. And I've tried.

One of the FZ songs I've never cared for is one you probably adore – "Dinah-Moe Humm." There are some cute turns of phrase, and the playing is of course impeccable. But it's like a Cheech & Chong record. Once you've heard it a few times, the returns diminish below the interest threshold. For me. And that's unlike most of Frank's work, which is so enduringly amusing.

Last week someone requested "The Mammy Nuns" from Thing-Fish, and I kind of hoped I'd find something to like about it, playing it again after years. Alas, it was the same as I'd remembered it: good Frank music talked over by Ike doing his Amos 'n' Andy schtik. And the point is...?

"200 Years Old," "Bamboozled By Love," "The Dangerous Kitchen" and "I Don't Even Care" are all on my least-loved list, as are, shockingly, "Advance Romance" and "The Torture Never Stops." The latter two are one-joke affairs with uninteresting melodies, and interminable. It stands to reason that these would be songs Frank would put out multiple versions of.

And yet, he never even officially put out some of his best nuggets. I wish he'd done a YCDTOSA based on that wonderful Knebworth Festival show I have a bootleg of. And here's one: on some bootlegs, in that great middle section of "Wet T-Shirt Nite," there's a part where the melody is sort of parsed out and punctuated by wonderful Vinnie drum statements. It's brilliant, and yet Frank cut it for some reason. Seems like we could have heard that rather than yet another version of "Advance Romance."

Further, a lot of the stuff on his later albums seems sloppy and limned with excessive kibbitzing between band members, blowing lines and repeating inside jokes. I'm sure it was a lot of fun for the band, but that stuff doesn't wear well.

So, are there any FZ songs you don't like/get/ever listen to? Let me know, and we'll play them on Least-Loved Frank this week. Hell, maybe I'll have an epiphany and finally see the light of FZ genius in these songs after all these years.

Oh, and there's also a request left over from last week: Alice called asking for "Billy The Mountain." I'll play the full, half-hour Playground Psychotics version after the commercial break in the second hour.

Pick Me, I'm Clean

2007-05-31T06:55:00.000-07:00

Whilst rummaging through the mustier recesses of my FZ archive, I came across this tantalizing little morsel of an LP record. Imagine that – Frank censoring himself. We all know how outraged he was, and rightfully so, when Verve took out the innocuous line "feeding all the boys at Ed's Café" from "Let's Make the Water Turn Black." And of course, he wasn't one to tolerate any constraints on expression. So it's got to be something of a historical oddity that he actually sent a bleeped version of anything out into the world. I believe this came out about thetime Frank was under severe financial stress, so that may have helped compel the decision.

I don't remember ever playing this LP, so I'll do so on Zappa's Grubby Chamber number 9 and we'll hear how FZ implemented self-censorship. I scanned the cover large so that if you click on it you can see all the text clearly. This and other oddments I uncovered will make their way onto the blog in coming weeks.

You may know the new request policy: I'll play anything you want (except Prince, which someone requested last week, or any other totally non-FZ related tunes). But, just to mix it up, if you don't specifically request the original version, I'm gonna go with a more obscure rendition of the song. So if you want the "definitive" version of a song played, just say "baseline" or somesuch.

I realized driving home last week that I hadn't done a very thorough job of back-announcing some of the cuts I played, specifically last week's They Who Would Be Frank. Just so's ya know, that cut I played was Godley & Creme's "Sandwiches of You." And for this week's TWWBF, I have a cut by another artist of - believe it or not – brilliance comparable to that of FZ himself, but with a completely different sensibility. The song I'll play is more homage than imitation, and, as with "Sandwiches," I really think that's the best form of tribute to an innovative artist of Frank's stature.

So, feel free to call or write in your requests, comments, screeching feedback and whatever.

(707) 786-5486, studio@khum.com

Fast & Bulbous

2007-05-24T07:23:00.000-07:00

That was a fun show last week, with the solemn and religimous theme. As I mentioned, there are innumerable other theme shows to be done. Two I'm really looking forward to are the King of Tinkertoys and Frank the Storyteller shows. In other words, all tinkertoy tunes (The Black Page, Manx Neeeds Women, etc.) and all story-songs (Magdalena, Billy the Mountain, etc.).

But this week, a different sort of theme for the first hour: fast and bulbous. No, not necessarily Beefheartian adventures (though that could be a future theme show), but rather, lots of little songs, one damn thing after the other in rapid succession (bulbous, also tapered).

Then, the second hour, we'll settle in to longer tunes, requests, Keneally Corner and the latest weekly installment of They Who Would Be Frank.

See you on the radio...

A Frank Devotional

2007-05-17T07:58:00.000-07:00

Well, the Rev. Falwell is in a far better place now, but whether it's prancing in the clouds or hanging out where the guy with the widow's peak and sulfur B.O. does his biznis may be up for debate. Christopher Hitchens pretty much nailed it, as far as I'm concerned.

UPDATE: Hitchens busted up some dishes on FauxNews, too.

In any case, it seems like a worthy occasion to dwell on matters solemn and religimous with Rev. Zappa, which we'll do after the first commercial break on Zappa's Grubby Chamber no. 7. Let's see... "Dumb All Over," "Heavenly Bank Account," "The Meek Shall Inherit Nothing," and...? Yes, there are some other fairly obvious selections, but I'm trying to solicit interaction. (What is this, a quiz? Don't you worry what it is. It is merely just a moment we can treasure.)

I remember when Frank's band performed "Dumb All Over" at the Greek Theatre at UC Berkley in 1984. God descended from the lighting truss in the form of a cheesy disco glitter ball with some frayed tinsel dangling from the bottom. Truly, it was a divine revelation. Anyone else remember that prop?

That was also the show where they played "Don't Be A Lawyer," a reworked version of "Tell Me You Love Me." Frank seemed to like to use that song's bones for other applications, including "Why Don't You Like Me?" from the '88 tour. But I've never heard anyone talk about "Don't Be A Lawyer."

By the way, the illustration above is by Cal Schenkel, from the Fall 1980 Tour Book.

Several people have asked that I play more early Frank. "Play more early Frank," they say. And so I shall... on vinyl! Well, partially. There's only one turntable at KHUM, so I'll hafta alternate 'twixt LP records and the digital versions.

Thanks for calling in and writing, folks. Consider posting to the blog, too. Or not... up to you... arf.

Listener Appreciation Night

2007-05-08T20:27:00.000-07:00

Five episodes of Zappa's Grubby Chamber in, and I find that what really animates it is the involvement of Frank fans. You call, you send e-mails, and sometimes you post to the blog.

Above is the lovely and talented Matt Chu, who traveled to Arcata on unrelated biz, but who delivered a huge data dump of FZ goodness to my office. We'll listen to some of the items on ZGC episode 6 on Friday night. And it looks like Frank is smiling down upon Matt for his efforts.

I guess that's why Frank liked audience participation. Sorta livens things up. What I'd like to do is have you, the Frank fan, call in at (707) 786-5486 and tell me what it is about Mr. Z that appeals to you. What's your favorite FZ song? Solo? Did you ever meet Frank? Who first exposed you to his music? I want to know!

Ejectamenta et al

2007-05-03T09:12:00.000-07:00

If you heard last week's show, you now know the mystery and enchantment of Zappa's Grubby Chamber. This is thanks to author Charles Ulrich of Vancouver, B.C., who not only had the info, but an audio clip of Frank himself telling what it is.

For those who missed it, here's the transcription:

"Also, at the same concert (11/8/68 Fullerton), I was given another gift. Did you notice that little piece of plaster with a frame around it over on the side of the wall that said "Zappa's Grubby Chamber" on it? Well, at the same show, these two young men, another two young men, came over to me and gave me this chunk of plaster that had been framed. And on the plaster it said "Zappa's Grubby Chamber". Well, those words were painted by me on the interior wall of a stairwell going to the attic of a house that I used to live in at 314 West G Street in Ontario, California. And they had located that house, and had somehow gotten into the house and busted the plaster off the wall and put it in a frame and gave it to me at the concert."

_FZ, interviewed by Jim Ladd, Sunday Special, KLOS-FM, Los Angeles, December 1, 1974

So thanks, Charles. He wins the cheesy prizes – a Zappa buck (see below) and the ticket to the Stanford show (see belower). Charles also operates some highly useful FZ sites: Frank Zappa Gig List and Planet of My Dreams for you and yours.

Charles, like other folks and fans who have written in, is much more of an FZ scholar than I am. (I'd do more, were it not for the fact that I'm rather heavily sedated, plus I have this all-consuming, 24/7 job.) I'm glad to help others fill in any blanks with what I've learned and experienced over the years, though.

Speaking of filling in blanks, we could use more comments on the blog here, biys and girls. Thanks for sending in the e-mails and feel free to do so, but my hope is that you'll add those comments to the blog so everyone can experience their particular majesty.

Now then. Interviewing Mr. Ulrich got last week's show off to a good start, and I stumbled across a fun new toy: playing different versions of FZ songs one after the other for A/B comparison purposes. I did this with "Jazz Discharge Party Hats," playing Frank's version, then Mike Keneally's off "Zappa's Universe." That was fun! (I can't imagine that everyone reading this doesn't know about the utterly amazing Mr. Keneally, who served as Frank's final stunt guitarist, but if you don't, go to Mike's site and gorge yourself silly on Frank-quality musical fulfillment.)

So this week, after some preliminary folderol, I'll try and focus on duplicate versions of FZ songs. Any suggestions? I suppose if I researched it, I'd find that the award for most versions done of any one song would go to "Advance Romance," though "Peaches En Regalia" had three (and the Dregs, Phish and many of the tribute bands have covered it too). My favorite version of Peaches is the one on Tinseltown Rebellion because it's so Tinkertoy (ah, tinkertoy – my favorite strain of Frankness), but it seems that most fans seem to like the Hot Rats version. What the hell, I'll play 'em all.

And the preliminary folderol would be Frank In Space. Yes, Mr. Z, as we know, enjoyed the topic, and, off the top, here's the songs that come to mind: "Cheepnis," "The Radio is Broken" and "Inca Roads." Any others? Does "We Are Not Alone" qualify? Well, I think so! So I'm gonna play those.

OK, gotta get on with that which we euphemistically refer to as my life. Frivolity aside, thanks, folks, for all your support and participation. The show is growing, the blog is building and we're in it for the long haul – infinity and fractional divisions thereof.

See ya on the radio!

We Have a Winner!

2007-04-26T06:23:00.000-07:00

Just when I was about to give up on the nouveau abstrusion of it all, a learned FZ scholar has solved the mystery of Zappa's Grubby Chamber. That's right, you heard right – the term's etymology will be revealed on the show Friday night, April 27. Not only that, the meaning of "Zappa's Grubby Chamber" will be explained by Frank himself!

The winner, whom I will interview by telephone just after 10 p.m. (Ferndale time), will receive his ticket to the 1980 concert at Maples Pavilion along with a Zappa buck, above. These $100 bills were created by a fellow Frank fan back in the 1980s. I can't remember his name, but he was a guy who liked to make stuff. In those days, before Photoshop, it was done with paper and scissors, glue and a photocopier. I gave one of these cheesy bills to Frank one time, and he got a rather large charge out of it. In fact, it compelled him to track me down when he was on the road and write me a nice letter, postmarked New Orleans. I'll tell that tale in a future post.

I had a good time on the show last week – actual fun factors. It took a few shows to get used to the studio and procedures, but now we're rockin' with the tangy flavor of cheddar. We are moving forward, so to speak. What helps is audience participation, and I took calls from Garberville, Arcata and Tempe, Arizona. So, phone in requests and advice at (707) 786-5486 or e 'em in at khum.com/.

I was going to dwell on Early Frank and make a pilgrimage back to the first several albums, when he had to make do with sub-optimal resources, for this next show. I rarely listen to early Mothers, and should do so more often. I tend to dwell in the 1973-79 realm of Frank music, which is a lovely rut to be in.

But I'm feeling more free form at this point. For reasons having to do with the winner of the ZGC riddle (which will become apparent), I think I'll be departing from the primordial Mothers theme right off the bat. And I still owe Bob in Tempe a request for "Goblin Girl," which is one of Frank's most sweetly lascivious double entendre exercises, so we'll just see what happens. How about some controlled chaos? Works for me.

So, tune in Friday night as we reveal the mystery, wonder and enchantment of Zappa's Grubby Chamber!

Guitar Player

2007-04-19T09:19:00.000-07:00

Frank Zappa did a lot of things extremely well, any one of which could have been a complete career for someone else. He was, as we know, a consummate composer, producer, arranger, lyricist, satirist and all-around musician and showman... and I’m sure I’m forgetting something.

But for some, Frank is most fondly remembered as a bitchin’ guitar player.

I’m not a guitarist, so the technical, music theory side of his guitar mastery is out of view for me. I do know that Frank approached guitar just as he did the other aspects of music – with total originality. Whether you’ve had any music training or not, you can just hear it.

I remember how at shows, Frank’s other splendid musicians – Messers Belew, Cuccurullo, Vai and others – would take a solo, and they’d be great. But then Frank would weigh in, and all bets were off. Things were suddenly on another level, or more like a different dimension entirely.

The initial notes of a Zappa solo were often a declaration of intent, and they were unmistakably Frank. A good example of this is that burst of near-obscene notes (actually the second phrase in the solo) in “Zoot Allures” on Does Humor Belong is Music? You can hear the audience responding to the volley of Frankishness.

If I had to pick, my single most favorite FZ solo would be one most people probably wouldn’t consider – the one in “Pick Me, I’m Clean” on Tinseltown Rebellion. It starts out almost like a conventional, melodic, even pretty guitar solo, but gets into some serious mischief before too long. I love the way how as the solo progresses, it kind of devolves from individual notes into diabolical chordal statements that just flow out of the speakers like molten lava. And of course, Vinnie Colaiuta matches Frank in providing the appropriate counterpoint, descending into washes along with the guitar.

Incidentally, here’s what Vinnie had to say about accompanying Frank in a 1982 interview with Modern Drummer magazine:

“He said, ‘I want you to listen to what I’m playing because I’m playing all those rhythms. When you accompany me, I don’t want you to just try to guess what they are and play some standard rhythmic fill. I want you to understand exactly where I’m at and communicate with me on that level.’ That forced me to try to improvise these polyrhythms and think in that way, which is not the norm by any stretch of the imagination.”

Vinnie and Frank were a great match. There's a lot in that interview about how Vinnie got hired, and it's utterly fascinating.

For sheer architecture, the solo in “Any Kind of Pain” on Broadway the Hard Way is an absolute masterpiece. Every note is simply perfect and irreplaceably relevant to the overall structure. (I’ve heard Mike Keneally joyously replicate this solo note-for-note.)

Frank, like all great guitarists (as opposed to the mere technicians), knew that it was about the Voice. You can hear any manner of human-equivalent vocalizations in his solos, from melodic singing to full-on arguments. And there’s some pretty despairing expressions of sadness in places on Joe’s Garage. I know that for many, the solo in “Watermelon in Easter Hay” is the ultimate Zappa guitar solo, and I have no argument at all to counter that conclusion.

Is anyone else as huge a fan of L. Shankar's Zappa-produced Touch Me There album as I am? There are unmistakable Frank flourishes on that album's guitar parts as well. Frank's the only guy I know of who could actually play funny guitar. Some of the little notes on "Darlene" are giggle-inducing, to say the least. No one else would have done it that way.

That graphic up top, by the way, is the back cover of the 1980 tour book. Frank really liked that sunburst Les Paul.

So, for Zappa’s Grubby Chamber 3, it’s all about Guitar Frank. What’s your favorite FZ guitar solo? Why’s that, huh? Call or write with your requests, and we’ll make a dang show of it.

Very Funny, Mr. Zappa

2007-04-12T08:03:00.000-07:00

If you had to pick out the one characteristic that most distinguishes Frank Zappa from other musicians, what would it be?

Certainly his music is among the most ambitious, his guitar work as amazing as it gets, his concerts mind-blowing. But other progressive and art-rock musicians had these capabilities to varying degrees as well. What they didn't have, almost universally, is a sense of humor, at least not one they were willing to put on a record and go on the record with.

Frank's music was, as we know, heavily imbued with funniness. Some of it was naughty, some banal and heavy-handed, some of it subtle and ironic, and some of it even musical (like when Frank would "go Hawaiian" with that wonderful little Donny and Marie punctuation).

Everywhere in life we seek humor – at work, with our families and in social circumstances. And yet when it comes to music, for some reason we have to dwell endlessly on one subject: love (actually, lust in a polite disguise). Why?

Why must music be artificially stripped of the singular feature which distinguishes humans from the other beasties that roam this earth? Other critters may have fun, and play, but they don't seem to make too many jokes. We homo-sapes do this everywhere, in every circumstance. And yet, if music contains humor, it's not "serious." Sigh. 'Tis a puzzlement.

Frank, who, as we know, thought different, was right up front with not just the funny biznis, but the sex too. No metaphoric pussyfootin' for Mr. Z. Does humor belong in music? Hell yes!

So, Zappa's Grubby Chamber Number 2 for April 13, 2007, will be all about the ha-ha/ho-ho/hee-hee aspect of Frank Zappa. What's his funniest tune? His wittiest? What's an example of his musical humor? Have any other musicians dared to approach humor? (A few have, and I'll play them.)

Arf.

Do You Like My Band-Aid?

2007-04-03T10:09:00.000-07:00

Thanks for the comments and suggestions, folks. Show No. 1 is shaping up, but, oddly, will likely be fairly amorphous. (Where'd you get that word, amorphous?) No high-concept conceptual continuity the first time out, except that which might accidentally occur. I'll probably just play some fun Frank while I get comfortable with the board and all the other frightening little tools that science has made available.

Since the "maiden voyage" holds rich promise to be a meltdown as I bungle in the jungle with KHUM's fantastic array of punchbuttons, I guess the de facto theme could be ugliness. As we know, Frank had a wonderful relationship with ugly. He took it to the limit in all forms, whether it was naughtiness, stupidity or graunchy guitar, and discovered the underlying beauty.

I always thought Frank promoted that which seems superficially ugly in order to get rid of the faint of heart who might expect cute (ick, bark heave) music, clearing the decks for stuff that has eyebrows, as he put it. Sometimes the music didn't have eyebrows in terms of being fiery or thrusting, but attained wonderment by being severely stoopid. As accomplished as FZ and his musos were, they, almost alone in the world of art rock, dared to play dumbly at times.

So I'll play some of these aesthetic violations Friday night – I'm thinking "Them or Us," some "Shut Up and Play Your Guitar," maybe "The Radio is Broken." Oh yeah, "Packard Goose," too. That one has some interesting observations on beauty (and journalism) before it goes into a bizarre and majestically ugly/beautiful guitar interlude. What else would go good with the ugliness theme? Ah! "What's the Ugliest Part of Your Body?"

Mystery, adventure and romance

No one's guessed the etymology of Zappa's Grubby Chamber yet. But it'll happen, and up top there is the Big Prize, such as it is, the winning contestant will receive. Yep, it's a genuine unused ticket, plucked from the garbage can in the hospitality room at Maples Pavilion.

The ticket's story is, my friend Eric and I had weaseled our way backstage at the show, as we were wont to do in those days. After scalvaging things like the sign to the band's dressing room and other effluvium, we enjoyed tasty snacks and then went rummaging around in the garbage. There we found reams of unused comps, and, of course, helped ourselves.

This and other bits of tid have been languishing in my filing cabinet lo these many years. It's about time they saw the light o' day. So, be the first to explain where ZGC came from and I'll mail the damn thing to yez. Then you can fetish the thing, use it as a band-aid or sell it on eBay.

And if there's anything you really wanna hear Friday night, well, keep it to yourself. No! I mean feel free to request it.

See you on the radio!

A Successor to Frankly Zappa?

2007-03-13T09:39:00.000-07:00

I've been asked to host the Friday night Zappa show on KHUM, and have agreed to give it a shot.

Since age 15 or so (I'm 53 now), Frank's music has always been playing somewhere in the back of my mind (along with the Beatles). So much so that I hardly need to play it any more in order to enjoy it – the stuff is basically tattooed on my brainpan. But when I do flop an FZ disc on, it never fails to get me singing along and playing the drum parts on my desk.

I'm not the most fanatical Frank fan, nor am I a completist about collecting his stuff. The music itself is what warms my heart. But I do have some FZ effluvium, a few stories and maybe some insights on the Frank Zappa problem.

With Frank's music and history, there's so much to talk about, so I'm attempting to approach this project in something resembling a systematic fashion. This blog will be part of that, serving as a companion to the radio show - a forum and sort of concordance. There are lots of possibilities for theme shows and guests, so who knows where this will go?

I'm fortunate to live in an area which, though remote, sports a fairly high statistical density of Frank fans. And I'm immensely thankful to KHUM for asking me to do this. Immense thanks, KHUM! Best of luck to Digital Dan as well.

My hope is that I can connect with the Zappa-appreciating community locally and beyond, and, keeping Frank's music as the focal point, have a lot of fun.

I'll probably yield to the compulsion to discuss non-Frank related matters here as well, due to conceptual continuity and fractional divisions thereof.

Hey, for starters, who knows what "Zappa's Grubby Chamber" is, besides the tentative title to the radio show? It's a fairly obscure piece of Frank minutae, but I'm sure I'm not the only fan to know about it...